Autism spectrum disorders (ASD) and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are highly heterogeneous neuropsychiatric disorders, that frequently co-occur. This study examined whether stratification into single-incidence (SPX) and multi-incidence (MPX) is helpful in (a) parsing heterogeneity and (b) detecting overlapping and unique underpinnings of the disorders. ASD and ADHD traits were measured in 56 ASD/31 ADHD SPX families, 59 ASD/171 ADHD MPX families and 203 control families. In ASD but not ADHD, behavioral traits were less elevated in SPX than MPX unaffected relatives, suggesting that SPX–MPX stratification may thus help parse ASD, but not ADHD heterogeneity. Particularly unaffected relatives from MPX ASD/ADHD families displayed elevated trait levels of both disorders, indicating shared (multifactorial) underpinnings underlying ASD and ADHD in these families. Cross-disorder traits were highest in MPX ASD unaffected siblings.