Cultural Sensitivity and Competence
The APA and other mental health organizations declare multicultural awareness and sensitivity to be fundamental components of professional competence (APA,
2017a;
2017b). We believe REBT’s focus on absolutistic iBs offers an advantage in working with religiously diverse clients. Most religious problems can be treated as Activating events, conferring a degree of therapeutic neutrality toward religious issues. For example, most sins can be treated as Activating events, allowing a focus on iBs about sin, rather than on sin itself. The REBT goal would be to D, Dispute iBs
about sin, not to D, Dispute whether a particular act is or is not sinful.
For example, the Word of Wisdom prohibits coffee, one of the most popular drinks in the world. The Word of Wisdom and its prohibition on drinking coffee can be treated as the Activating event, allowing an REBTer to focus on and dispute iBs about the Word of Wisdom. For example, if a client believes, “I must not like the taste of coffee!” the focus would be on replacing the must with a dislike that the taste of coffee is tempting rather than a demand that one not be tempted or temptable. If a client believes in Christ, it could be quite helpful to note that after his long fast, Satan tempted Christ to turn stones to bread. Bread could tempt Christ only if he wanted to eat. If a client believes something like, “It’s terrible that I drank coffee!” the focus would be on replacing terrible-izing with something like, “It’s sad that I drank coffee.” If a client believes, “Coffee should not be forbidden!” the focus would be on accepting that some rules cannot be changed rather than on demanding that God or the Church change the Word of Wisdom. If a client believed “Drinking coffee makes me a worthless sinner!” the goal would be to help a client remember scriptures that show that Jesus Christ told those who sinned to stop sinning without condemning or devaluing them.
REBT is preferentially persuasive and emotionally evocative (Ellis,
1994). Nielsen et al. (
2001) proposed that a religious client’s dedication to scripture and theology can catalyze disputation by pre-loading RSTs with evocative persuasiveness. We find that fundamental elements of Latter-day Saint theology and scripture often explicitly dispute demanding, awfulizing, frustration intolerance, and human rating.
Latter-day Saints have the aspirational goal of being their own theologians, so that everyone “might speak in the name of God the Lord, even the Savior of the world” (
D&C, 1831/2012, 1:20). The first lesson in the Church’s 2023 Sunday School manual emphasizes this goal, “We are responsible for our own learning” (Church of Jesus Christ,
2022e). Our Latter-day Saint clients seem not to find it unusual that we offer to discuss scripture or doctrine during therapy. A non-member therapist quoting or discussing Latter-day Saint scripture or doctrine might surprise a Latter-day Saint client, but it would not likely be objectionable, so long as the client agrees to discuss religion. A statement such as, “Do I have it right that in the
Book of Mormon it says something like ‘Men are that they might have joy?” would probably be both disarming, somewhat intriguing, or even inviting to a Latter-day Saint client.
Most clients—more than 95%—at our clinic declare themselves to be observant Latter-day Saints on their intake questionnaires. Questions such as, Are you a believer? and Could we read something in the scriptures about this? are usually sufficient preparation to begin using RSTs with Latter-day Saint clients.
Examples of RSTs with Latter-day Saints
Until explicated in the ABC model, iBs are usually subconsciously automatic (Ellis,
1994). Rational ideas in scripture and theology similarly hide in plain sight until clarified during REBT. These excerpts come from sessions with Latter-day Saint clients who agreed to discuss scripture. Clients are de-identified.
Demanding and Frustration Intolerance
Jonah (pseudonym) had successfully gathered and analyzed data for his doctoral dissertation. He had procrastinated writing and was now into an extra semester with the extra tuition costs arising because of his procrastination. He was avoiding writing. Discussing agency in the Plan of Happiness helped re-motivate him:
Nielsen (N): You wrote in the intake questionnaire that you are having trouble finishing your dissertation. What are you telling yourself about your dissertation?
Jonah (J): I really need to get to work. I need to stop procrastinating and wasting time.
N: Interesting. I read that you served a mission? Do you consider yourself a believer?
J: Yes, in Mexico, and yes, I’m an active member [of the Church].
N: Would it be okay to discuss your beliefs here?
J: Sure.
N: You spoke Spanish on your mission? How did you say this in Spanish? “You need to, you have to, you should, you must go to the Celestial Kingdom.”
J: I never said anything like that.
N: Really? How would you have said it if you had said it?
J: Something like, Debes ir al Reina Celestial. But I never said anything like that. It’s not true. It’s a choice, it’s not something people have to do.
N: Then why tell yourself you need to work on your dissertation? If you don’t have to go to the Celestial Kingdom, you sure as hell don’t have to work on your dissertation!
J: Okay [laughing]... Okay, but how does that help me with my dissertation?
N: Why try so hard to get into the Celestial Kingdom if you don’t have to? Think of how damn expensive tithing is. [He laughed again.] Why donate 10% if you don’t have to?
J: Because I want to go to the Celestial Kingdom.
N: Really? Want to? Fascinating! Whose plan was it that you would have to go to heaven?
J: Okay... Satan’s.
N: Need to, have to, should, must versus want to. Can you feel a difference?
J: Sure. “Want to” feels... lighter.
N: How’s this feel? “Jonah! You must work on your dissertation! You have to do it!”.
J: Kind of annoying.... Sorry.
N: No. It’s great that it annoyed you. “I have to write,” versus “I want to write?”.
J: “I want to” is more motivating.
N: Do you want to work on your dissertation?
J: Yes and no. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.
N: Welcome to the human race! But what do you really want?
J: I want to get it done as soon as I can.
N: Really? Good! How about this? Listen for shoulds so you can stop shoulding on yourself. [J smiled.] Oh, you got that little joke. Listen carefully for when you and others say they should, have to, got to, need to, or must do stuff. Listen for when people must... turbate.
J: What? Oh [laughing]!
N: Every time you hear yourself or someone else say, have to, need to, got to, ought to, should, must, or other demanding things, say something like this to yourself: Hey stop shoulding on yourself! or, Listen to that: musturbating in public! Remind yourself that you want to but don’t have to work on your dissertation. Why? You want to but don’t have to go to the Celestial Kingdom, so you don’t have to finish your dissertation! You want to!
Jonah committed to insist to himself that he did not have to, but did want to work on his dissertation and that he no longer wanted to delay. He deleted social media and streaming apps from his computer and smart phone and committed to three, daily, 15-min bouts of writing. He almost always spent more than 15 min writing once he started writing. He completed his first full draft in three weeks, worked out revisions with his chair and committee, then successfully defended the dissertation before the end of the semester.
Perhaps 2% to 5% of Latter-day Saint clients are not amused by mild vulgarities or REBT’s neologistic jokes such as shoulding on one’s self or musturbation. Easing into humorous disputation usually prevents problems with such humor. Jonah seemed quite relaxed from the beginning of the session on and the guess that a humorous approach would further relax him and help him accept REBT proved to be correct.
Awfulizing and Frustration Intolerance
Martha (pseudonym) wrote in her intake questionnaires that she attended two semesters at our university before her mission, earning a 3.96 cumulative grade point average (GPA); this was at the 96th percentile for the university. She returned from her mission, restarted classes, performed poorly on several mid-term tests, grew discouraged, and stopped attending classes. She failed all her classes that first semester back from her mission. Her GPA dropped from 3.96 to 2.64; she lost a scholarship and was placed on academic warning by the university. She came for help early in the next semester. Martha wrote on one of the intake questionnaires that she now could “never get into graduate school.” She slept in on the day of the intake, arriving 15 min late for the appointment.
N: I read what you wrote in the intake questionnaires about graduate school. Could we begin by you telling me what you’re telling yourself about grad school?
Martha (M): My GPA will never recover. I’ve wasted my time!
N: Wasted your time.... Let’s use the ABC model right here: A, your Adversities are these: First, last semester’s grades lowered your GPA; second, you lost your scholarship; and third, grad school seems impossible. Do I have that right? [M nodded.] Now you B, Believe, you’ve wasted your time. The C, emotional Consequence, of B is that you feel so discouraged you often can’t get out of bed.
M: Yes, it all feels like a waste of time.
N: Well, it feels like a waste of time because you B, Believe it’s a waste of time. Let’s ABCD, Deliberate about that waste-of-time belief. You just returned from a mission. Are you a believer?
M: Yes! That makes it worse!
N: Worse? How?
M: I’ve been wasting the Lord’s time, too!
N: Wasting the Lord’s time, too.... Can we discuss what the Lord thinks about wasting time?
M: Okay...
N: Do you remember what the Lord told Joseph Smith about his four months in Liberty Jail?
M: I’m not sure. We did a [family] Church-history, road trip before my mission. First Liberty Jail [in Missouri], then Carthage Jail [in Illinois, where Joseph Smith was murdered] and Navoo [in Illinois], then the Kirtland Temple [in Ohio], the Sacred Grove [in New York, where Joseph Smith had his first vision] and the Hill Cumorah [in New York, where Joseph Smith received the golden plates]. Four months in Liberty Jail?
N: A bit more than four months. Interesting that his time in Liberty Jail and a semester here are about the same length. [M smiled.] Would you read what the Lord told him?
M: [From Nielsen’s D&C] “Know thou my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C, 1839/2013, 122:7).
N: Were Joseph Smith’s four months in Liberty Jail a waste of time?
M: I guess not.
N: What if you believed that last semester’s four months were not a waste of time?
M: I don’t know. I wish I could believe it. I suppose I’d feel better.
N: Do you remember what Alma the Younger said about comparing a belief to a seed?
M: Something like, treat a belief like a seed; try to believe; if it grows you’ll see if it’s a good belief.
N: Right. Would you read what Alma said? Alma [chapter] 32: [verse] 27 [in the BofM]?
M: [From Nielsen’s BofM] “If ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.”
N: Of course, Alma the Younger was a prophet. I’m a wicked old shrink [M chuckled]. But could you plant the seed of believing that your adversity is not a waste of time and might benefit you?
M: How?
N: Well, first, water and feed the seed by forcefully telling yourself something like, “I really, really hope that I can get into grad school, but even if I don’t, my life is not a waste of time. It would be rotten, but it could give me valuable experience. Not experience I want, but it could be for my benefit.”
M: Okay.
N: Add something like, “My best chance is to work... like... heaven [M smiled] to get better grades and bring my GPA up.” And say it as if you believe it, even if you don’t. Try it... now... out loud.
M: Okay... I really want to get a Ph.D. in clinical psychology, but my life is not a waste if I don’t! And my best chance is to work hard!
N: Good work! Now shout it... [her eyes got wide]... in your head. [She closed her eyes briefly.] What was that like?
M: It felt more believable. I could try it.
Martha attended 10 more sessions that semester, during which we continued to discuss her beliefs, emotions, motivations, and study strategies. She earned all “A” grades at the end of that semester, raising her cumulative GPA to 2.96, a B- average. She is still considering applying to a doctoral psychology program and plans to return from time to time to discuss her motivation, her goals for graduate school, and her progress.
Human Rating
Damaris (pseudonym) was infatuated with Luke (pseudonym) a young man in her Latter-day Saint ward. She was afraid to flirt with Luke.
N: What are you telling yourself about flirting with Luke?
Damaris (D): What if he’s not interested?
N: What if he’s not? What are you telling yourself about Luke not being interested in you?
D: Maybe I’m not worth his time.
N: Now we can see why you won’t flirt: A, the Activating event is that you think he may not be interested. Then you B, Believe, that if he’s not interested, you’re not interesting. The C, emotional Consequence of B, your Belief, is anxiety shuts you down. So Luke determines human worth?
D: Well... I know that’s not right, but that’s how it feels.
N: It feels like that because you believe it. You strongly believe that your worth comes from what Luke and perhaps what other people, perhaps especially men, think of you. What could you believe, instead?
D: That Luke doesn’t determine my worth?
N: Right. You know that’s what I want you to say. Could you say it with less conviction?
D: [Laughing.] I’m not sure. Probably not.
N: You said you and Luke are in the same Ward. Are you a believer?
D: Yes...
N: Would you like to see what the Lord says about Luke?
D: Okay. About Luke?
N: Well, not Luke by name, but it’s kind of about Luke and about what you believe about Luke’s opinions. What does the Lord say about your worth? You may even have this memorized.
D: “Remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God?” [D&C, 1829/2013, 18:10].
N: Right! Word for word, I think. If Luke doesn’t want to kiss your toes, does he overrule God?
D: [Laughing.] No.
N: Good, but you’re not convinced of that. Do you have the next verse memorized? Verse 11? [M shook her head.] I do—both 10 and 11. Check me: “Remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;” that’s verse 10, notice, it ends with a semicolon. What does the semicolon mean?
D: That the sentence and thought continue.
N: Hey, you must be a college student! [D smiled.] Check me on the whole sentence: “Remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;” semi-colon, “For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him” [D&C, 1829/2013, 18: 10 & 11, extra emphasis spoken]. “Might repent.” Any evidence there that worth goes down if a person willfully refuses to repent? Willfully sins and then refuses to repent?
D: No, sin doesn’t change the worth of a soul.
N: Luke’s opinion must be really, really, really, very, very important if his interest or disinterest in you changes your worth! It says, “In the sight of God.” So, God’s point of view or Luke’s point of view?
D: God’s point of view, of course.
N: What could you tell you about your worth and Luke’s opinion? Say it with force this time.
D: Luke does not determine my worth!
N: Hey, pretty good! Does that feel more or less like you could flirt with Luke?
D: More. But actually, I felt a little annoyed when I said it. I don’t know why.
N: Yikes! Of course, we don’t yet know what Luke thinks about romance with you. Maybe he hasn’t noticed you. Maybe he’s anti-noticing you—trying not to notice you. How about if you add something like this? “If Luke is not interested, his loss.” Of course, it would be your loss, too, but you don’t lose more than Luke loses.”
Damaris agreed to talk to herself in this way before the next Sunday, when she would see Luke again. She role-played flirting with Luke and did flirt with him. He seemed indifferent. The next week she agreed to invite him to come to Sunday dinner at her apartment. He politely declined and she felt mildly annoyed. She accepted Nielsen’s challenge to flirt with other men and began actively inviting men to Sunday dinner. Five weeks later she began dating Mark, one of three men, John, Mark, and Matthew (pseudonyms) she had to invited to Sunday dinners. She had invited Mark and Matthew on the same Sunday to balance out the number of men and women at that dinner.