“There’s No Booklet That Comes With it”: Parents’ Experiences of Seeking Support for Their Gender-Diverse Children and Themselves

This paper explores the experiences of the parents of gender-diverse children in terms of the support they sought for their child, as well as the support they sought for themselves. Examining the ways in which they balanced the emotional labour of being a parent advocating for their child, and protecting their child from perceived and actual harms, is important in understanding the care that these carers may also require. The findings in this paper come from a longitudinal study and focus on the first interviews conducted with 39 parents of gender-diverse young people aged between 5 and 15 years, none of whose children had yet been seen by a gender service. Three main themes were generated: 1. Listening and learning – (a) Voicing their uncertainty, (b) Listening lessens uncertainty, (c) Being led by their child; 2. Layers of support – (a) Family and friends, (b) Support groups, (c) GPs and Gender Identity Development Service, (d) Doing their own research; and, 3. Isolation. Findings from this paper highlight a gap within the healthcare system where parents often navigate their way through heretofore unknown health service systems with very little guidance from their peers or healthcare professionals. It is clear that parents require assistance in engaging with these systems to best meet the various needs of their child and family. The ways in the support required by parents and children might change or shift over time will be examined longitudinally in future papers.