“If you really love me, you will do/be…”: Parental psychological control and its implications for children's adjustment

Highlights

• Trait-like and situational vulnerability might make parents susceptible to use of PPC.

• Inhibited or dysregulated behaviors trigger PPC to direct more desirable conduct.

• PPC has adverse implications in early development and might have a cascading effect.

• Children's understanding parents' intentions might mitigate PPC’s harmful effects.

• We need to learn more about the processes, pathways, and reciprocal influences.

Abstract

Parental psychological control (PPC) involves attempts to control the child through psychological tactics that invalidate the child's sense of self, and has adverse effects across cultural contexts. PPC restricts and violates children's basic needs for security, closeness and relatedness, and competence and autonomy, and it disrupts the autonomy–connection balance. Because of PPC’s harmful effects, it is important to understand and study its precursors, the circumstances and contexts that might intensify or moderate its effects, and potential ways to reduce PPC. This paper indicates the current state of research about PPC, highlighting the main insights that we have gained and noting gaps and inconsistencies. We first lay the groundwork for an understanding of PPC by briefly discussing its conceptual background, definitions, and measurement issues. Second, we delineate the parent, child, and context characteristics that are associated with PPC, as well as the characteristics of PPC in different developmental periods. Third, we describe mediating processes that may explain the adverse outcomes and parent–child bi-directional influences. Fourth, we refer to possible moderating variables, such as culture and gender. We conclude by suggesting directions and topics for future research.

Introduction

Parental psychological control (PPC) involves attempts to control the child through psychological tactics that encourage dependency, inhibit individuation, and invalidate the child's sense of self (Barber and Harmon, 2002, Soenens and Vansteenkiste, 2010, Soenens et al., 2010). These processes of PPC are often intrusive and manipulative. When enacting PPC, parents may use covert strategies, such as instilling anxiety and inducing guilt to compel their children to conform to parental requests. They may also withdraw love or exercise conditional regard (such as when parents' care and affection are contingent upon their children’s realization of parental expectations). Further, as part of PPC parents may also constrain the child’s expression of emotions and thoughts in order to control the child’s activities and behaviors in a way that impedes the child’s ability to develop a separate self-identity (Barber, 2002).

In general, and across a wide range of measures and samples in different countries, PPC has been clearly and consistently associated with adverse outcomes for the child. Adjustment problems include internalizing problems (Krishnakumar et al., 2003, Stone et al., 2013) such as depression (Barber et al., 2005, El-Sheikh et al., 2010, Soenens et al., 2012), anxiety (Bögels and Brechman-Toussaint, 2006, Nanda et al., 2012, Seibel and Johnson, 2001), and lower self-confidence and self-esteem (Givertz and Segrin, 2014, Soenens et al., 2005, Soenens et al., 2009). They also include externalizing problems, such as delinquency (Pettit, Laird, Dodge, Bates, & Criss, 2001) and antisocial behavior (Li, Zhang, & Wang, 2015). PPC is also associated with academic (Wang, Pomerantz, & Chen, 2007) and social problems (Gaertner et al., 2010, Li et al., 2011, Nelson et al., 2006).

Parental behaviors, including PPC, are shaped by multiple factors, such as parent, child, and contextual and sociocultural characteristics (Belsky, 1984). Because of PPC’s harmful effects, it is important to understand and study its precursors, the circumstances and contexts that might intensify or moderate its effects, and potential ways to reduce PPC.

Considering the breakdown of many families, parents’ substantial investment of time and energy in their careers, and today’s high expectations for childrens’ achievement and competition in a global market (Ungar, 2009), it is no wonder that PPC prevails in contemporary societies. PPC has received increased attention and has been the subject of a fair amount of research attention in the last two decades since Barber (1996) reintroduced the concept. During this time, PPC has been found in diverse populations and research has demonstrated its adverse effects across cultural contexts. There also have been refinements, studies with diverse populations, and new measures that have contributed to the growth of this research. Our aim here is to indicate the current state of research in this area—highlighting the main insights that we have gained and noting gaps and inconsistencies—and to suggest future directions in studying PPC (see Fig. 1).

In this review, we first lay the groundwork for an understanding of PPC by briefly discussing its conceptual background, definitions, and measurement issues. Second, based on Belsky's (1984) model regarding parental behaviors, we delineate the parent and child characteristics and context characteristics that are associated with PPC, as well as the characteristics of PPC in different developmental periods. Third, we describe mediating processes that may explain the adverse outcomes and parent–child bi-directional influences. Fourth, we refer to possible moderating variables, such as culture and gender. Finally, we suggest directions and topics for future research.