Full length articleDo you have anything to hide? Infidelity-related behaviors on social media sites and marital satisfaction
Introduction
According to Pew statistics, 65% of American adults use social media, and this has risen substantially over the last decade (Perrin, 2015). Alongside this rapid growth, relationship researchers began investigating how social media is used within relationships, especially romantic relationships. Much of this research has portrayed social networking as a potential threat to existing romantic relationships, as it provides a vehicle for communicating with alternative partners through friend requests, commenting on others’ posts or pictures, covert communication, or even engaging in cybersex (Cravens and Whiting, 2014, Dibble and Drouin, 2014, Dibble et al., 2015, Drouin et al., 2014, Drouin et al., 2015). Accordingly, researchers have shown that social media and/or the conflict and jealousy that arises from social media use is associated with relationship conflict, breakups, and even divorce (Clayton, 2014, Clayton et al., 2013, Cravens et al., 2013, Fox et al., 2014, Ridgway and Clayton, 2016, Valenzuela et al., 2014).
Although the empirical literature related to social media and relationships has expanded greatly over the past few years, much of this research has been conducted with young adults; research on problematic social networking behaviors within married couples is sparse. Although media sources report that Facebook has been cited in one third of U.S. divorces (Lupkin, 2012), only a limited number of studies have examined problematic online infidelity-related (IR) behaviors (e.g., engaging in cybersex, befriending romantic interests or attractive alternative partners) among couples. The few empirical studies that have examined IR behaviors have focused on accounts of those who found their partners cheating (Cravens et al., 2013) or characteristics of individuals who have sought extra-marital relationships via chat rooms (Dew, Brubaker, & Hays, 2006). Together, these studies suggest that online environments may provide a ripe venue for online IR behaviors. There is also some evidence that technology usage generally can interfere with relationships, potentially causing conflict and lower relationship satisfaction, even among married couples (McDaniel and Coyne, 2016, Roberts and David, 2016). Moreover, a recent study involving couples showed that a greater amount of social networking use (more specifically, Facebook maintenance behaviors) was related to lower levels of partner love (Northrup & Smith, 2016). In this exploratory study, we extended these inquiries to examine whether married/cohabiting individuals are using social networking to engage in online IR behaviors, and to what extent this relates to relationship satisfaction, ambivalence, and relational attachment characteristics. More specifically, our goals were to conceptualize and measure social media IR behaviors among primarily married couples, examine these behaviors as an outcome of relationship satisfaction and ambivalence, and examine whether attachment anxiety moderates the relationship between relationship satisfaction and ambivalence and engagement in social media IR behaviors.
A growing body of research has examined the potential negative effects of social media usage on romantic relationships. In a seminal study on the topic, Clayton et al. (2013) found that Facebook usage predicted negative relationship outcomes (e.g., cheating, breakup, and divorce), but that this association was mediated by Facebook-related conflict and moderated by relationship length. In other words, Facebook usage predicted negative relationship outcomes especially when there was conflict surrounding this usage, but only among those who had been in their relationships for three years or less. Clayton (2014) found similar results with regard to Twitter use: Higher usage was related to negative relationship outcomes, and this association was mediated by Twitter-use conflict. However, in this case, relationship length did not moderate the indirect effect of social media usage on negative relationship outcomes. Regardless of relationship length, those who used Twitter more often were more likely to have Twitter-related conflict, and this predicted negative relationship outcomes. More recently, Ridgway and Clayton (2016) extended this inquiry to yet another social networking venue and found that posting selfies on Instagram was related to Instagram-related conflict, which in turn was related to negative relationship outcomes. This link between social networking usage and negative relationship outcomes was also supported by a recent, national survey (Valenzuela et al., 2014). Valenzuela et al. (2014) found that Facebook penetration rate predicted higher rates of divorce across 43 U.S. states, even after controlling for other potential divorce factors (e.g., income and unemployment). Moreover, social networking use predicted lower marital quality, marital dissatisfaction, and marital trouble (Valenzuela et al., 2014).
Another avenue of research has focused more specifically on the potential sources of online and/or social-networking-related relationship conflict. For example, 920 married couples in Helsper and Whitty's (2010) study reported that falling in love, engaging in cybersex, flirting, and revealing personal details to other parties were the most agreed-upon online infidelity behaviors. More specific to social networking, Cravens et al. (2013) found the following Facebook-related infidelity behaviors most consistently reported: friending one's ex-partner, private messaging, commenting on attractive user's pictures, and posting an inaccurate relationship status. Additionally, other recent studies examined two potential sources of conflict (i.e., befriending romantic interests and attractive alternatives within Facebook friends lists) and their associations with relationship investment characteristics (Drouin et al., 2014, Drouin et al., 2015). Drouin et al. (2014) found that the frequency of friending attractive alternatives during the relationship, but not simply the number of attractive alternatives contained in one's friends list, related to lower levels of relationship commitment. In a follow-up experiment, Drouin et al. (2015) found that Facebook friends lists served as memory primers for sexual and committed relationship alternatives: Those who used Facebook (as opposed to memory) to identify potential relationship partners identified more alternatives, specifically sexual alternatives.
Combined, these studies present empirical evidence that there are multiple avenues through which individuals can communicate with others online in ways that are perceived to be infidelity-related or problematic to relationships. More specifically, the elements of social network communication that are most consistently labeled as problematic include befriending past partners (or alternative partners), flirtation, secrecy, and engaging in deep or sexual conversations with others online. However, although these online behaviors have been identified as potential threats to fidelity and researchers have begun to link these behaviors to aspects of relationship investment, no known research has examined whether engagement in online IR behaviors is related to marital dissatisfaction or ambivalence.
For decades, researchers have been exploring the role of relationship satisfaction in infidelity. Within cross-sectional studies, the results have been rather consistent: Relationship dissatisfaction is related to a range of IR behaviors, including both emotional and sexual extradyadic interactions (e.g., Drigotas et al., 1999, Roscoe et al., 1988, Shaw et al., 2013, Whisman et al., 2007). Meanwhile, relationship ambivalence, or the experience of both positive and negative sentiment about the same relationship (Luescher & Pillemer, 1998), has been little explored as a correlate of IR behaviors. Relationship ambivalence may develop in response to past relationship conflict or transgressions in the relationship, such as disagreements or acts of betrayal (Birditt, Miller, Fingerman, & Lefkowitz, 2009). These acts of betrayal could include suspicions or confirmations of a partner's infidelity, which has been shown to be predictive of one's own infidelity behaviors (Whisman et al., 2007). In sum, when individuals feel ambivalent about their committed partner for any reason, they may be more likely to engage in infidelity behaviors. Extending these findings to an online environment, we expected that both of these relationship characteristics—dissatisfaction and ambivalence—may be related to engagement in online IR behaviors. More specifically, we expected: H1 Those with lower levels of relationship satisfaction and higher levels of ambivalence would engage in more social media IR behaviors.
Additionally, we wanted to explore attachment orientation as a predictor of engagement in social media IR behaviors. Attachment research was originally based on observations of infants' attachments to their caregivers (e.g., Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, & Wall, 1978); however, a number of researchers in the last few decades have suggested that attachment characteristics influence adults’ relationship interactions (Bartholomew and Horowitz, 1991, Brennan et al., 1998, Hazan and Shaver, 1987, Mikulincer and Shaver, 2003, Mikulincer and Shaver, 2007, Dewall et al., 2011). According to these researchers, those who display secure attachment patterns are comfortable depending on others and having others depend on them, and they typically build close, intimate relationships with romantic partners. Meanwhile, those who display insecure attachment patterns exhibit high levels of attachment avoidance or attachment anxiety (Brennan et al., 1998).
Those with high levels of attachment avoidance often display an air of detachment and need for independence within their romantic relationships. In accordance with this, researchers have shown that those who are high in avoidance keep an emotional distance from their partners, and they are also more likely to engage in casual sex, where physical and emotional intimacy are not necessarily intertwined (Brennan and Shaver, 1995, Feeney and Noller, 1990, Gentzler and Kerns, 2004, Schmitt, 2005). Additionally, those high in attachment avoidance express less commitment to their romantic partners (Dewall et al., 2011), and attachment avoidance, in addition to lower levels of commitment, predicts both emotional and sexual infidelity (Dewall et al., 2011, Drigotas et al., 1999).
Meanwhile, those with high levels of attachment anxiety have an intense need for closeness and fear of losing their romantic partner. In order to keep their partners, those high in anxiety often use hyperactivating strategies—or behavioral attempts to draw their partners closer (Mikulincer and Shaver, 2003, Mikulincer and Shaver, 2007). These hyperactivating strategies may include engaging in IR behaviors to incite jealousy in their romantic partners (e.g., Guerrero, Andersen, Jorgensen, Spitzberg, & Eloy, 1995). Alternatively, those with high levels of attachment anxiety might seek intimacy outside of their relationship when they feel that their (high) needs for intimacy are not being met by a current partner (Drigotas et al., 1999, Mikulincer and Shaver, 2013) or when they feel that they might lose their partner and try to compensate by establishing a relationship with a new potential partner (Drouin et al., 2015).
Thus, both attachment avoidance and attachment anxiety have been linked with IR behaviors in empirical studies, however, much of this research (e.g., Dewall et al., 2011, Drigotas et al., 1999) has focused on unmarried dating adults, whose relationship dynamics may differ substantially from those who are in more committed relationships. In a more recent study of married individuals, Russell, Baker, and McNulty (2013) found that attachment anxiety, but not attachment avoidance, predicted infidelity among married couples. Thus, in our study, we sought to further examine the links between attachment characteristics and IR behaviors among married/cohabiting couples. In accordance with the findings from Russell et al. (2013), we expected: H2 Attachment anxiety would predict social media IR behaviors in this married sample.
Finally, we also examined attachment characteristics and gender as moderators in the relationships between relationship satisfaction, ambivalence, and engagement in social media IR behaviors. Several researchers have noted that there are sex differences in the ways in which attachment characteristics interact with infidelity behaviors. As an example, Allen and Baucom (2004) found that among women, an anxious attachment style was predictive of engaging in infidelity behaviors, but among men, an avoidant attachment style was predictive of engaging in infidelity. Moreover, Drigotas et al. (1999) found that women who have an anxious attachment style may engage in infidelity behaviors if they believe their emotional needs are being unfulfilled by their committed partner. Thus, both attachment characteristics and sex were explored as potential moderators in the relationship between satisfaction, ambivalence and engaging in social media IR behaviors.
In sum, the goals of the current, exploratory study were to: (1) develop a brief measure of social media IR behaviors, (2) explore the prevalence of social media IR behaviors among individuals in a married/cohabiting sample, and (3) examine the relationships between engaging in social media IR behaviors, relationship satisfaction and ambivalence, and attachment anxiety and avoidance.
Section snippets
Participants & procedure
The data in this study were collected as part of a larger project on parenting and daily family life (Daily Family Life Project; McDaniel, 2016). We recruited both parents (mother and father) from families who had at least one young child via a database of families in a Northeastern U.S. state, announcements on parenting websites and listservs, and announcements in the local community. This multi-pronged recruitment strategy was utilized to obtain a sample of families throughout the U.S. After
Measure of social media IR behaviors
As explained in the measures section, we created 7 items (see Table 1) from a review of the relevant literature on unfaithfulness in relationships. We then explored whether these items loaded together by performing a principal components analysis. This revealed one factor that accounted for 62% of the variance in the entire sample, 67% of the variance for women, and 58% of the variance for men. Individual factor loadings for the entire sample and factor loadings and descriptives for women and
Discussion
Social networking behaviors have been a subject of recent inquiry as a potential source of relationship dissatisfaction, conflict, and dissolution (Clayton, 2014, Clayton et al., 2013, Cravens et al., 2013; Fox et al., 2014, Ridgway and Clayton, 2016, Valenzuela et al., 2014). However, the existing research has focused mainly on general social networking use, and few studies have examined the specific social networking behaviors that may be problematic in romantic relationships. Therefore, we
Funding sources
We would also like to acknowledge the College of Health and Human Development, the Department of Human Development and Family Studies, as well as the Bennett Pierce Prevention Research Center at The Pennsylvania State University which awarded research funds to the first author to complete this research.
This research was also supported by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (T32DA017629) and the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (F31HD084118). The content is solely the
Conflict of interest
The authors declare no conflict of interest.
Acknowledgments
We would like to thank the families who participated in this research, as well as the research assistants who made all of this recruitment and data collection possible.
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