Elder respect: exploration of ideals and forms in East Asia

Abstract

As a step toward a systematic study of the undervalued subject of elder respect, this study explores the forms of elder respect practiced by East Asians and distinguishes a comprehensive set of 14 forms of elder respect ranging from care respect to ancestor respect. Traditional Confucian teachings associated with respect for parents and elders were reviewed, forms of elder respect practiced by Asians are explored based on findings from recent studies conducted in Asia, and the meanings of the forms are summarized. Changing expressions of elder respect and its continuing influence are discussed.

Introduction

In recent years, concern over respect for elders has been increasing Belmot Report, 1978, Chipperfield & Havens, 1992, Ingersoll-Dayton & Saengtienchai, 1999, Leininger, 1990, Lew, 1995, McKee, 1982, Mehta, 1997, Nydegger, 1983, Palmore & Maeda, 1985, Post, 1989, Silverman & Maxwell, 1978, Streib, 1987, Sung, 1998a, Takahashi, 1995.

There have been reports on the tendency among some young people to mistreat helpless old persons, to abandon frail elders, and to disrespect the elderly in general Kim, 1998, Lau & Kosberg, 1979, Moon & Williams, 1993, Pillemer & Finkelhor, 1988, Tomita, 1994. Many of the aged in the world probably suffer from disrespect; only a minority may be maintaining respect from younger generations because of unusual accomplishments Nydegger, 1983, Palmore & Maeda, 1985. Without respect, the young would not be able to have positive attitudes toward the elderly and treat them with propriety. Respect remains an essential element in maintaining the status of the elderly Leininger, 1990, Nydegger, 1983, Palmore & Maeda, 1985. It remains puzzling, however, that the theme of respect is so noticeably absent from most discussions of aging.

The elderly are those who have contributed to their families and society throughout their lifetime. Above all, most of them are parents who raised, educated, and cared for children. For aging parents, adult children are an essential part of their support system. How these children treat the aged is of major concern to the elderly, as well as to society.

(Hereafter, “respect for the elderly” is termed “elder respect.” The term “elder” here denotes parent, grandparent, other elderly relative, teacher, neighborhood elder, and elders in general.)

Cultural change has a significant effect on elder respect Nydegger, 1983, Palmore, 1989, Silverstein et al., 1998, Simic, 1990, Streib, 1987. In a culture, values, norms, roles, and patterns of social interaction associated with elder respect persist from generation to generation Palmore & Maeda, 1985, Streib, 1987. The peoples of East Asia have a notable tradition of elder respect. The Chinese, the Japanese, and Koreans have shared this tradition for many generations Lang, 1946, Park, 1983, Silberman, 1962. [The Chinese here include those in the mainland China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Singapore, which altogether comprise the larger Chinese community of Asia.]

The traditional basis for elder respect is Confucian teachings of filial piety. In the teachings, respect for parents and elders is the most stressed point (Teachings of Filial Piety, 1989, Chaps. 7 and 9). Filial piety essentially directs offspring to recognize the care and aid received from their parents and, in return, to pay respect for their parents Kong, 1995, Lew, 1995, Takahashi, 1995.

Until now, elder respect has been described in abstract terms; it has been a concept too general to provide clear guidance for practice. The view that does receive popular support is that elder respect is “being courteous and obedient to elders.” Elder respect as colloquially described has been characterized by emphasis on these general principles.

If we carefully explore the concept of elder respect in literature on filial piety, however, such a simplistic conceptualization does not seem appropriate for a realistic understanding of this extensive and complex ideal. Confucian writers described how parents and the elderly should be respected in a variety of forms and the importance of individual forms has been treated by writers in varied ways depending on their belief and interests, and the context of discussion. Thus, the complete distinction of how elders should be respected is still an unresolved issue. To better understand respect for elders, its forms should first be thoroughly explored.

The purpose of this paper is to explore the forms of respect prevalent among East Asian peoples, namely the Chinese, the Japanese, and Koreans, and provide a comprehensive set of such forms for future studies. For this purpose, the paper first reviews the traditional meanings of elder respect in Confucian literature, and then explores forms of respect widely observed among the Asian peoples based on findings of recent studies on elder respect in Asia. There are signs of shift in the way in which elder respect is expressed by young generations in East Asian societies. Certain aspects of this shift are discussed. It is not the purpose of this paper to discuss the philosophy of respect but rather to explore the explicit actions of respect practiced in daily living.