Introduction
Adolescence is a period in which many changes occur. Adolescents are striving for more autonomy and self-determination (Collins
1990; Laursen and Collins
2004). Indeed, one of the most salient developmental tasks during adolescence is establishing oneself as an autonomous being (Erikson
1959; Steinberg
1990). Ideally, parent–adolescent relationships in Western societies gradually change from a more vertical, asymmetrical relationship to a more horizontal, symmetrical relationship (Collins
1990,
1995; Collins and Steinberg
2006; Russell et al.
1998; Steinberg
1990; Youniss and Smollar
1985). Although parents encourage autonomy of their children and accept more symmetrical relations, they have somewhat different expectations regarding the timing of appropriate autonomy for their adolescents (Deković et al.
1997). These changes into more symmetrical relationships might therefore go hand in hand with some friction between parents and adolescents. In fact, conflicts are exceptionally suited to fostering the renegotiation of parental authority (Collins and Laursen
2004; Sillars et al.
2004; Smetana
1995) and are thus inevitable in this realignment process (Collins et al.
1997; Collins and Steinberg
2006). In the current study, we will investigate whether conflict resolution styles of adolescents and their parents change during adolescence.
Empirical studies have shown that conflict frequency and conflict intensity change during adolescence. For example, a meta-analysis showed that conflicts are most frequent during early adolescence and decline gradually thereafter (Laursen et al.
1998). Moreover, the same meta-analysis found that conflicts seem to be more intense during middle adolescence than during early adolescence. This latter finding has been confirmed by other researchers (De Goede et al.
2009; Jensen-Campbell and Graziano
2000). The combination of more frequent conflict during early adolescence, more intense conflicts during middle adolescence, and the gradual change into more symmetrical parent–adolescent relationships (De Goede et al.
2009) might be reflected by changes in the way adolescents and their parents handle conflicts with each other during this period (Collins and Laursen
2004). In this paper, we distinguish three different conflict resolution styles: positive problem solving, conflict engagement, and withdrawal. Positive problem solving involves trying to understand the other’s position and using constructive reasoning to work out compromises. Conflict engagement involves being verbally abusive, angry, defensive or attacking, and losing self-control. Withdrawal involves avoiding the problem, avoiding to talk, and becoming distant (Kurdek
1994). In the current study, we will investigate whether adolescents and their parents change in their use of positive problem solving, conflict engagement, and withdrawal with each other from early to middle adolescence.
There are theoretical reasons to believe that the use of positive problem solving by adolescents and their parents change during adolescence. Several theorists argue that a more mature way of conflict resolution, characterized by more compromising and perspective taking, will develop in adolescence (e.g., Sandy and Cochran
2000; Selman
1980; Youniss and Smollar
1985). Due to developmental changes in perspective taking, adolescents will be increasingly able to simultaneously consider both their own and the other’s perspective and may be able to use more mature styles of conflict resolution (Sandy and Cochran
2000). Moreover, in Western societies, the renegotiation process from a vertical parent–adolescent relationship into a more horizontal or egalitarian one starts in early adolescence (Collins and Laursen
2004; Russell et al.
1998). Therefore, we might expect that both adolescents
and their parents will increase their use of positive problem solving. We suppose that parents also increasingly use positive problem solving in order to meet the new challenges of the parent–adolescent relationship and to allow the relationship to become more egalitarian. Empirical evidence for an increase in positive problem solving by adolescents during conflicts with parents is thin. Although a developmental meta-analysis on
peer conflict resolution showed that negotiation and compromise increase during adolescence (Laursen et al.
2001), only one study investigated differences in positive problem solving in
parent‐
adolescent relationships for two age groups and its results were rather mixed (Jensen-Campbell and Graziano
2000). This particular study found positive problem solving in daughter–mother relationships to be higher for older adolescents than for younger adolescents, but found the opposite for son–mother relationships and failed to find an effect of age with regard to adolescents’ positive problem solving with fathers. Empirical evidence of changes in parental positive problem solving is still lacking. Thus, based on theory, positive problem solving of adolescents and their parents is supposed to increase from early to middle adolescence. However, this has not been consistently confirmed by empirical studies.
Theoretical ideas and empirical studies are inconsistent with respect to changes in conflict engagement by adolescents and their parents. From a developmental point of view, we might expect adolescents and their parents to decrease their use of conflict engagement during conflicts as this aggressive way of handling conflicts does not reflect developmental growth toward greater egalitarianism (Collins and Laursen
2004; Russell et al.
1998). That is, as adolescents grow older, a more equal power balance between adolescents and their parents evolves: adolescents will mature in their use of conflict resolution styles by more negotiation and less aggressive behaviour while at the same time parents are also providing more room for negotiation and are becoming less dominant during conflicts. However, empirical studies show a different pattern. For instance, the use of an aggressive conflict resolution style has been found to be higher for middle adolescents than for early adolescents (Tucker et al.
2003). Also, as has been mentioned before, empirical studies showed that conflict intensity increased from early to middle adolescence and then decline (De Goede et al.
2009; Jensen-Campbell and Graziano
2000; Laursen et al.
1998), which might be an indication that conflict resolution of adolescents is temporarily characterized by more fighting and arguing from early to middle adolescence. No empirical studies have yet been done on the development of this aggressive style by parents. In sum, based on several empirical studies, we expect an increase in conflict engagement by adolescents from early to middle adolescence.
With regard to the use of withdrawal during conflicts, we have several reasons to assume that withdrawal of adolescents increases from early to middle adolescence. First, the use of withdrawal often results in unresolved conflicts, which have been found to be more common in middle than in early adolescence (Smetana et al.
1991). Second, research on developmental changes in peer conflict resolution shows that the increase in compromising of adolescents is accompanied by an increase in disengagement or withdrawal as well, suggesting that adolescents might also learn to walk away from a conflict (Laursen et al.
2001). A similar pattern might apply for parent–adolescent relationships and thus adolescents might also apply this strategy more often when facing conflicts with their parents as they get older. Therefore, we expect withdrawal by adolescents to increase from early to middle adolescence. We have no specific expectations with regard to withdrawal of parents. Thus, although theory and some empirical studies suggest that conflict resolution might change over time, longitudinal studies are clearly needed to draw conclusions about within-individual change. As close relationships are generally resistant to dramatic change (Laursen and Collins
1994), we chose to investigate parent–adolescent relationships for a period of 4 years. Relationships gradually change, and by incorporating a 4-year period, we should be able to discover change.
We chose to investigate changes in conflict resolution styles in adolescent–mother and adolescent–father relationships separately, not only because conflicts are mainly dyadic interactions, but most importantly because adolescents perceive their relationship with mothers and fathers differently (Youniss and Smollar
1985). For example, theories of parental complementarity in socialization imply that father–child interactions are less likely than mother–child interactions to be concerned with caregiving and intimate exchanges. In addition, several theoretical and empirical studies suggest that, during the transition to adolescence, mother–child interactions are characterized by greater perturbations than father–child interactions (Collins and Russell
1991). Among the explanations for this hypothesis is the greater amount of interaction of adolescents with mothers compared to fathers, and mothers’ greater attempt to maintain children’s dependency (e.g. Collins
1990; Collins and Russell
1991; Parke and Buriel
2006; Videon
2005). Although we have no clear theoretical or empirical reasons to expect differences between boys and girls, we will conduct preliminary analyses to examine whether we should incorporate this distinction in our main analyses.
The Current Study
With the current study, we investigated changes in conflict resolution styles of adolescents and their parents from early to middle adolescence. Before conducting our main analyses, we explored whether adolescents’ sex was a factor that had to be taken into account. Subsequently, we examined the changes of each conflict resolution style separately. First, we investigated whether adolescents’ reported level of
positive problem solving with their parents increased from early to middle adolescence. Although empirical results are inconsistent (Jensen-Campbell and Graziano
2000), based on theory (Sandy and Cochran
2000; Selman
1980; Youniss and Smollar
1985), we hypothesized that adolescents’ reported use of positive problem solving with their parents increased. We also expected an increase in parents’ reported use of positive problem solving with adolescents. For adolescents’ reported use of
conflict engagement, based on previous research on aggressive conflict resolution and conflict intensity, we expected an increase in the use of this style by adolescents from early to middle adolescence (De Goede et al.
2009; Jensen-Campbell and Graziano
2000; Laursen et al.
1998; Tucker et al.
2003). We explored the use of parents’ reported use of conflict engagement. Based on research on unresolved conflicts and on peer conflict resolution, we expected adolescents’ use of
withdrawal with parents to increase. We explored the use of parents’ reported use of withdrawal. Finally, since we had no specific hypotheses about mean level differences in adolescents’ and parents’ reported conflict resolution styles, we investigated these in an explorative way.
Discussion
The purpose of the present study was to investigate changes in conflict resolution styles in parent–adolescent relationships. Generally, we found that both adolescents and their parents changed in their use of conflict resolution from early to middle adolescence in favor of a more horizontal and symmetrical relationship, as indicated by changes in both positive problem solving and conflict engagement. We found some differences in the development of adolescents’ conflict resolution styles with their mothers and fathers. In addition, the development of parents’ reported conflict resolution styles with their adolescents was also in some instances different for mothers and fathers.
In line with theoretical arguments that more mature ways of conflict resolution develop during adolescence (Sandy and Cochran
2000; Selman
1980; Youniss and Smollar
1985), we found that adolescents reported an increase in their use of positive problem solving with mothers from early to middle adolescence. However, adolescents’ reported use of positive problem solving with fathers did not change. The finding that adolescents reported an increase in their use of positive problem solving with mothers and not with fathers is somewhat in line with the Jensen-Campbell and Graziano study (
2000), which found an increase in compromising only in daughter–mother relationships, not in son–mother and adolescent–father relationships. Whereas mothers’ reported use of positive problem solving with adolescents did not change on average, fathers’ reported use of positive problem solving significantly increased. However, as mothers reported significantly higher levels of initial positive problem solving towards adolescents than fathers in early adolescence, the increase in positive problem solving of fathers should be interpreted carefully. The results with respect to positive problem solving suggest that there is more maturation in adolescents’ relationship with mothers and that fathers are lagging behind. However, the increase of fathers’ reported positive problem solving might suggest that fathers might catch up eventually. This is an area for future investigation.
Adolescents’ reported use of conflict engagement with mothers first increased and then decreased around middle adolescence. We found no change in adolescents’ reported use of conflict engagement with fathers. Thus, although previous research found an increase in aggressive conflict resolution of adolescents with both mothers and fathers (Tucker et al.
2003), we only found that adolescents’ reported use of conflict engagement with mothers increased and this increase was temporary. The self-reported use of conflict engagement by both mothers and fathers was found to decrease. Thus, both parents report that they use this aggressive style to a lesser extent over time, suggesting that parents also change the way that they handle conflicts with their adolescents in line with the demands of a more symmetrical relationship. Overall, our results seem to imply that—especially in adolescent–mother relationships—adolescents are using more mature ways and less aggressive ways of handling conflict around mid-adolescence. However, this does not mean that the realignment and maturation of adolescent–mother relationships go smoothly, as we found that the use of conflict engagement of adolescents with mothers temporarily increased. The realignment process with fathers might be just less turbulent. Another explanation for the fact that we found fewer changes in the way adolescents handle conflicts with their fathers is that there are also fewer conflicts and thus fewer opportunities to experiment and grow in conflict resolution (Collins and Laursen
2004; Collins et al.
1997; Laursen
1995).
With respect to withdrawal, we found that adolescents’ reported level of withdrawal with both parents increased, although the increase with mothers was only temporary. This is in line with an earlier study that found that unresolved conflicts, which are often the outcome when withdrawal is applied during conflicts, are more common in middle than in early adolescence (Smetana et al.
1991). As adolescents have been found to decrease their disclosure levels during adolescence (Keijsers et al.
2009), the (temporal) increase in adolescents’ reported use of withdrawal with parents might even be a subtle indication of increasing autonomy of the adolescent. Moreover, our study showed that, whereas mothers’ reported use of withdrawal did not change, fathers’ reported use of withdrawal significantly increased. This might be explained by the differential roles fathers and mothers play in their adolescents’ lives. For example, mothers spend more time in caregiving, joint activities, and conversation with their adolescents than fathers do (Lewis and Lamb
2003; Parke and Buriel
2006; Youniss and Smollar
1985), know more about their adolescents’ activities than fathers (Waizenhofer et al.
2004), and—presumably as a result—have more conflicts with them than fathers have (Collins and Laursen
2004; Collins et al.
1997; Laursen
1995). Also, the relationship between adolescents and fathers is typically more distant than the relationship between adolescents and mothers. Therefore, the development of a new, more mature way of conflict resolution might be necessary at an earlier point in time for adolescent–mother relationships than for adolescent–father relationships. An alternative interpretation of our findings regarding the differences in positive problem solving and withdrawal by mothers and fathers may be due to stereotype gender differences in managing relationships. For instance, positive problem solving might include more feminine behaviors, such as collaboration, listening, and greater verbal communication, whereas withdrawal is a more stereotypically masculine characteristic (Christensen and Heavey
1990). This might explain the higher levels of positive problem solving by mothers compared to fathers and why fathers are increasingly using withdrawal from early to middle adolescence. Perhaps when parent–adolescent relationships change into more horizontal relationships that are more and more characterized by greater egalitarianism, mothers and fathers are increasingly using their stereotypical conflict resolution styles as they are also inclined to do in their adult relationships.
Although not the main focus of this study, findings from our preliminary analyses regarding differences in the development of conflict resolution styles by boys and girls showed that there were some differences in the reported level of conflict resolution styles, but that there were no differences in the reported change in conflict resolution styles with mothers and fathers for boys and girls. Moreover, we found an interesting pattern of findings with respect to adolescents’ and parents’ mean levels on positive problem solving, conflict engagement, and withdrawal. That is, mothers and fathers reported significantly higher levels of positive problem solving and conflict engagement compared to adolescents, whereas they reported lower levels of withdrawal compared to adolescents. This pattern reflects the dominant role parents play during conflicts in early adolescence. It shows that mothers and fathers are generally more engaging in conflicts than their adolescents, either in a positive way or in a more aggressive way. Adolescents were found to use more withdrawal compared to their parents and thus withdraw more during conflicts with their parents, also demonstrating the more engaging role of parents in parent–adolescent conflict. However, future research is warranted.
Strengths, Limitations, and Future Directions
The present study is the first to examine changes in conflict resolution styles in parent–adolescent relationships longitudinally from early to middle adolescence including four measurement points. Moreover, we incorporated independent reports from adolescents, mothers, and fathers. However, our study has also a number of limitations. Firstly, we used adolescents’ and parents’ self-reports to assess conflict resolution styles. More objective data would be obtained when using for instance observations or reports from more than one person. Secondly, although we tapped adolescents’ and parents’ reported changes in conflict resolution styles from early to middle adolescence, it would have been interesting to include conflict resolution styles of adolescents and parents during late adolescence as well. By incorporating late adolescents’ and their parents’ conflict resolution styles, we would for instance be able to test whether adolescents’ reported level of positive problem solving with fathers change later on compared to adolescents’ reported change in positive problem solving with mothers and whether fathers’ reported level of positive problem solving with adolescents continues to increase into late adolescence. Also, participants in our sample were all Dutch adolescents who lived with both parents. Future research should extend our findings to other types of families, for example by including ethnic minority groups and “broken” families. Finally, although we found numerous changes in self-reported conflict resolution styles over time, the changes we found were rather small. However, this is in line with the general assumption that close relationships are inherently conservative structures that resist dramatic reformulations (Laursen and Collins
1994).
Although our study provided insight into the development of conflict resolution styles in parent–adolescent relationships, new questions arise. For example, future research might include the larger family system as well, such as conflict resolution in the sibling relationship, parent-sibling relationship, and marital relationship as this might have consequences for the way conflict is handled in families. For instance, the way parents resolve conflicts with each other has been found to influence the way adolescents handle conflicts with their parents 2 years later (Van Doorn et al.
2007). Recently, research showed that the peak in conflict frequency is sooner with second-born children than with first-born children (Shanahan et al.
2007). This might also have consequences for the way parents deal with conflicts with their second-born. Moreover, as previous research found differences in the development of compromising for the daughter–mother, daughter–father, and son-parent dyad (Jensen-Campbell and Graziano
2000), a potential next step might be to investigate changes in conflict resolution styles for all four dyads separately using a larger sample. Finally, another potential next step might be to investigate by means of multivariate growth curves whether changes in a certain conflict resolution style are accompanied by changes in other conflict resolution styles. For example, it might be interesting to test whether an increase in the use of positive problem solving by adolescents is accompanied by a decrease in conflict engagement by adolescents. Likewise, it might be interesting to investigate how the development of conflict resolution styles is related to changes in conflict intensity.