Top

Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy

Gepubliceerd in:

01-12-2013 | Original Article

Why I did Not do What I Felt Like Doing When I Felt Hurt: An REBT-Based Investigation of Reasons Why Hurt-Based Action Tendencies are Not Acted On

Auteurs: Windy Dryden, Nicola R. Hurton

Gepubliceerd in: Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy | Uitgave 4/2013

Abstract

In our previous study (Dryden and Hurton in J Ration Emot Cogn Behav Ther 29, 2013), we investigated the action tendencies that 100 people reported having, but did not act on in specific episodes where they felt hurt. In this study, we examine the reasons given by this same group of people for not so acting. Understanding the types of reasons why people do not act on their hurt-based action tendencies will first help REBT therapists to distinguish between constructive and unconstructive factors contained in these expressed reasons and thence to use this information to encourage their clients to act on their constructive tendencies and to discourage their clients from acting on their hurt feelings when it is unconstructive for them to do so.

vorige artikel What I Felt Like Doing, but did Not Do When I Felt Hurt: An REBT-Based Investigation of Action Tendencies that are Not Acted On

volgende artikel Angry Thoughts and Daily Emotion Logs: Validity of the Angry Cognitions Scale

In REBT’s ABC framework as related to hurt, the emotion of hurt and the associated actions and action tendencies are placed at “C,” what the person feels most hurt about is the adversity at “A” and “B” refers to the person’s beliefs—in this case irrational—about the “A” that accounts for the “C”.

Also see, for example, Leary et al. (1998), Vangelisti and Crumley (1998) and Feeney (2004) for examples of other common acted on action tendencies when a person feels hurt.

Frijda (2004) has similarly suggested that “the motivation for action is one of the main and major components of emotions” (p. 170), but that “action follows only under certain conditions” (p. 158).

Vangelisti (2006: 136) has also characterized hurt feelings as “a readiness to engage in relational distancing.”.

The mean and SD calculations are based on the ages of 98 of the 100 participants, as two participants did not provide their ages.

The questionnaire is available from the first author.

While this wording is clear in the context of completing the questionnaire, what is meant by this question is “Why didn’t you do what you felt like doing when you felt hurt?”.

Same point as in footnote 6.

As outlined in the introduction, the other two considerations are “normative beliefs” and “control beliefs.” For a fuller discussion regarding how such beliefs can influence intention to perform behaviours please refer to Ajzen (1991, 2001, 2006).

These 10 victims did not refer to any specific aspect of the situation that they might have exacerbated if they had acted on their action tendency. It is possible that they thought that such action would have made things worse in one or more of the outcome areas considered below, even if this was not stated.

While the focus here appeared to be on avoiding a negative outcome for the perpetrator, these reasons may also have been associated with positive feelings for the perpetrator (see “The Behavior Would Have Been Inconsistent with Positive Feelings or Attitudes Towards Significant Others”section).

As in “The Action Would Have Made the Situation Worse for the Perpetrator” section, while the focus here appeared to be on avoiding a negative outcome for others, these reasons may also have been associated with positive feelings for significant others (see “The Behavior Would Have Been Inconsistent with Positive Feelings or Attitudes Towards Significant Others” section).

This was a clear example of where concern for outcomes was associated with positive feelings for others. That is, this victim had previously written that he had “two children, who mean everything to me” (this section of his answer was classified under “The Behavior Would Have Been Inconsistent with Positive Feelings or Attitudes Towards Significant Others”section).

This was not always straightforward to classify.

Ajzen, I. (1991). The theory of planned behavior. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 50, 179–211.CrossRef

Ajzen, I. (2001). Nature and operation of attitudes. Annual Review of Psychology, 52, 27–58.PubMedCrossRef

Ajzen, I. (2006). Behavioral interventions based on the theory of planned behavior. Retrieved from http://people.umass.edu/aizen/pdf/tpb.intervention.pdf.

Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84, 191–215.PubMedCrossRef

Braun, V., & Clarke, V. (2006). Using thematic analysis in psychology. Qualitative Research in Psychology, 3, 77–101.CrossRef

Conner, M., & Armitage, C. J. (1998). Extending the theory of planned behavior: a review and avenues for further research. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 28, 1429–1464.CrossRef

Dryden, W. (2007). Overcoming hurt. London: Sheldon Press.

Dryden, W. (2009). Rational emotive behavior therapy: Distinctive features. Hove, East Sussex: Routledge.

Dryden, W., Hurton, N. R. (2013). What I felt like doing, but did not do when I felt hurt: An REBT-based investigation of action tendencies that are not acted on. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. doi:10.1007/s10942-013-0169-9.

Ellis, A. (2005). The myth of self-esteem: How rational emotive behavior therapy can change your life forever. New York: Prometheus Books.

Feeney, J. A. (2004). Hurt feelings in couple relationships: Towards integrative models of the negative effects of hurtful events. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 487–508.CrossRef

Frijda, N. H. (2004). Emotions and action. In A. S. R. Manstead, N. H. Frijda, & A. Fischer (Eds.), Feelings and emotions: The Amsterdam symposium (pp. 158–173). Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.CrossRef

Kearns, J. N., & Fincham, F. D. (2005). Victim and perpetrator accounts of interpersonal transgressions: Self-serving of relationship-serving biases? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31, 321–333.PubMedCrossRef

Leary, M. R., Springer, C., Negel, L., Ansell, E., & Evans, K. (1998). The causes, phenomenology, and consequences of hurt feelings. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1225–1237.CrossRef

Lincoln, Y., & Guba, E. G. (1985). Naturalistic inquiry. London: Sage.

Maitner, A. T., Mackie, D. M., & Smith, E. R. (2006). Evidence for the regulatory function of intergroup emotion: Emotional consequences of implemented or impeded intergroup action tendencies. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 42, 720–728.CrossRef

Sandelowski, M. (2001). Real qualitative researchers do not count: The use of numbers in qualitative research. Research in Nursing & Health, 24, 230–240.CrossRef

Vangelisti, A. L. (2006). Hurtful interactions and the dissolution of intimacy. In M. A. Fine & J. H. Harvey (Eds.), Handbook of divorce and relationship dissolution (pp. 133–152). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Vangelisti, A. L., & Crumley, L. P. (1998). Reactions to messages that hurt: The influence of relational contexts. Communication Monographs, 65, 173–196.CrossRef

Zitek, E. M., Jordan, A. H., Monin, B., & Leach, F. R. (2010). Victim entitlement to behave selfishly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98, 245–255.PubMedCrossRef

Titel: Why I did Not do What I Felt Like Doing When I Felt Hurt: An REBT-Based Investigation of Reasons Why Hurt-Based Action Tendencies are Not Acted On
Auteurs: Windy Dryden
Nicola R. Hurton
Publicatiedatum: 01-12-2013
Uitgeverij: Springer US
Gepubliceerd in: Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy / Uitgave 4/2013
Print ISSN: 0894-9085
Elektronisch ISSN: 1573-6563
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10942-013-0170-3

Bohn Stafleu van Loghum

Deel dit onderdeel of sectie (kopieer de link)

Abstract

Log in om toegang te krijgen