Abstract
Infidelity is one of the most difficult problems to address in couple therapy, most likely because it involves a traumatic relationship event that alters the ways in which couples process information about each other and established behavioral patterns. This article presents a three-stage treatment designed to address the cognitive, behavioral, and emotional sequelae of affairs that integrates cognitive-behavioral and insight-oriented strategies with the literatures on traumatic response and forgiveness. Critical and unique features of this treatment are discussed and a case study is presented to illustrate the treatment methods.
Similar content being viewed by others
References
Allen, E. S., Atkins, D. C., Baucom, D. H., Snyder, D. K., Gordon, K. C., & Glass, S. (2005). Intrapersonal, interpersonal, and contextual factors in engaging in and responding to infidelity. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 12, 101–130.
Baucom, D.H., Snyder, D.K., & Gordon, K.C. (in press). Treating couples recovering from affairs. New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Brown, E. (2001). Patterns of infidelity and their treatment (2nd edn.). Philadelphia: Brunner-Routledge.
Enright, R. D. & the Human Development Study Group. (1991). The moral development of forgiveness. In W. Kurtines & J. Gewirtz (Eds.), Handbook of moral behavior and development (pp. 123–152). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Epstein, N. B., & Baucom, D. H. (2002). Enhanced cognitive-behavioral therapy for couples: A contextual approach. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Freedman, S. R., & Enright, R. D. (1996). Forgiveness as an intervention goal with incest survivors. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 64, 983–992.
Geiss, S. K., & O’Leary, K. D. (1981). Therapist ratings of frequency and severity of marital problems: Implications for research. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 7, 515–520.
Glass, S., & Wright, T. (1997). Reconstructing marriages after the trauma of infidelity. In W. K. Halford & H. J. Markman (Eds.), Clinical handbook of marriage and couples interventions (pp. 471–507). Chichester, UK: Wiley.
Gordon, K. C., & Baucom, D. H. (1998). Understanding betrayals in marriage: A synthesized model of forgiveness. Family Process, 37, 425–450.
Gordon, K. C., & Baucom, D. H. (1999). A multitheoretical forgiveness-based intervention for addressing extramarital affairs. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 6, 382–399.
Gordon, K. C., & Baucom, D. H. (2003). Forgiveness and marriage: Preliminary support for a synthesized model of recovery from a marital betrayal. American Journal of Family Therapy, 31, 179–199.
Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2004). An integrative intervention for promoting recovery from extramarital affairs. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 30, 213–232.
Gordon, K. C., Burton, S., & Porter, L. (2004). The role of forgiveness: Predicting women in domestic violence shelters intentions to return to their partners. Journal of Family Psychology, 18, 331–338.
Janoff-Bulman, R. (1989). Assumptive worlds and the stress of traumatic events: Applications of the schema construct. Social Cognition, 7, 113–136.
Janus, S. S., & Janus, C. L. (1993). The Janus report on sexual behavior. New York: Wiley.
Lauman, E. O., Gagnon, J. H., Michael, R. T., & Michaels, S. (1994). The social organization of sexuality. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Lusterman, D. D. (1998). Infidelity: A survival guide. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
McCann, I. L., Sakheim, D. K., & Abrahamson, D. J. (1988). Trauma and victimization: A model of psychological adaptation. The Counseling Psychologist, 16, 531–594.
Pittman, F. (1989). Private lies: Infidelity and the betrayal of intimacy. New York: Norton.
Resick, P. A., & Calhoun, K. S. (2001). Posttraumatic stress disorder. In D. H. Barlow (Ed.), Clinical handbook of psychological disorders (3rd edn., pp. 60–113). New York: Guilford Press.
Rosenak, C. M., & Harnden, G. M. (1992). Forgiveness in the psychotherapeutic process: Clinical applications. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 11, 188–197.
Rowe, J. O., Halling, S., Davies, E., Leifer, M., Powers, D., & van Bronkhorst, J. (1989). The psychology of forgiving another: A dialogal research approach. In R. S. Valle & S. Halling (Eds.), Existential phenomenological perspectives in psychology: Exploring the breadth of human experience (pp. 233–244). New York: Plenum Press.
Snyder, D. K. (1999). Affective reconstruction in the context of a pluralistic approach to couple therapy. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 6, 348-365.
Snyder, D. K., Baucom, D. H., & Gordon, K. C. (2007). Getting past the affair: How to cope, heal, and move on – together or apart. New York: Guilford.
Snyder, D. K., Gordon, K. C., & Baucom, D. H. (2004). Treating affair couples: Extending the written disclosure paradigm to relationship trauma. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 11, 155–159.
Snyder, D. K., & Schneider, W. J. (2002). Affective reconstruction: A pluralistic, developmental approach. In A. S. Gurman & N. S. Jacobson (Eds.), Clinical handbook of couple therapy (3rd edn., pp. 151–179). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Snyder, D. K., & Wills, R. M. (1989). Behavioral versus insight-oriented marital therapy: Effects on individual and interspousal functioning. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 57, 39-46.
Spring, J. A., & Spring, M. (1996). After the affair: Healing the pain and rebuilding trust when a partner has been unfaithful. New York, NY: Harper Collins Publishers.
Tsang, J., & Stanton, M. S. (2007). Forgiveness for intimate partner violence: The influence of victim and offender variables. Personality and Individual Differences, 42, 653–664.
Whisman, M. A., & Snyder, D. K. (2007). Sexual Infidelity in a National Survey of American Women: Differences in prevalence and correlates as a function of method of assessment. Journal of Family Psychology, 21, 147–154.
Whisman, M. A., Dixon, A. E., & Johnson, B. (1997). Therapists’ perspectives of couple problems and treatment issues in the practice of couple therapy. Journal of Family Psychology, 11, 361–366.
Worthington, E. L. (2005). Handbook of forgiveness. New York: Brunner-Routledge.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Rights and permissions
About this article
Cite this article
Gordon, K.C., Baucom, D.H. & Snyder, D.K. Optimal Strategies in Couple Therapy: Treating Couples Dealing with the Trauma of Infidelity. J Contemp Psychother 38, 151–160 (2008). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10879-008-9085-1
Published:
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10879-008-9085-1