Abstract
Infidelity has a permeating impact on social systems, but no system is more impacted by infidelity than the nuclear family. This paper examines the impact of parental infidelity on the family using a structural family therapy (SFT) framework. Conceptualizing and treating infidelity from an SFT approach provides a systemic understanding of how interactions between the parental units about infidelity impact parent–child dynamics. Clinical recommendations are outlined for couple and family therapists to help families find healthy and adaptable ways to create and maintain structures that minimize the harmful impact of infidelity on the family system.
Similar content being viewed by others
References
Ablow, J. C., Measelle, J. R., Cowan, P. A., & Cowan, C. P. (2009). Linking marital conflict and children’s adjustment: The role of young children’s perceptions. Journal of Family Psychology, 23, 485–499. doi:10.1037/a0015894.
Allen, E. S., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Loew, B., & Markman, H. J. (2012). The effects of marriage education for army couples with a history of infidelity. Journal of Family Psychology, 26, 26–35. doi:10.1037/a0026742.
Allen, E. S., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., Williams, T., Melton, J., & Clements, M. L. (2008). Premarital precursors of marital infidelity. Family Process, 47, 243–259. doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.2008.00251.x.
Amato, P. R., & Hohmann-Marriott, B. (2007). A comparison of high-and low-distress marriages that end in divorce. Journal of Marriage and Family, 69, 621–638. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2007.00396.x.
Andersen, B. L., & Cyranowski, J. M. (1994). Women's sexual self-schema. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 1079.
Andersen, B. L., Cyranowski, J. M., & Espindle, D. (1999). Men’s sexual self-schema. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 645–661. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.76.4.645.
Atkins, D. C., Baucom, D. H., & Jacobson, N. S. (2001). Understanding infidelity: Correlates in a national random sample. Journal of Family Psychology, 15, 735–749. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.15.4.735.
Bird, M. H., Butler, M. H., & Fife, S. T. (2007). The process of couple healing following infidelity: A qualitative study. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 6, 1–25. doi:10.1300/J398v06n04_01.
Blodgett Salafia, E. H., Schaefer, M. K., & Haugen, E. C. (2013). Connections between marital conflict and adolescent girls’ disordered eating: Parent–adolescent relationship quality as a mediator. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 22, 1–11. doi:10.1007/s10826-013-9771-9.
Blow, A. J., & Hartnett, K. (2005). Infidelity in committed relationships II: A substantive review. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 31, 217–233. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.2005.tb01556.x.
Brown, E. (1991). Patterns of infidelity and their treatment. New York: Brun-ner/Mazel.
Brown, J. H., & Brown, C. S. (2002). Marital therapy: Concepts and skills for effective practice. Practice Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole.
Brown, E. M. (2013). Patterns of infidelity and their treatment. Philadelphia, PA: Brunner-Routledge.
Brown, J. H., & Christensen, D. N. (1999). Family therapy: Theory and practice. Practice Grove, California: Brooks/Cole.
Buunk, B. P., & Dijkstra, P. (2004). Gender differences in rival characteristics that evoke jealousy in response to emotional versus sexual infidelity. Personal Relationships, 11, 395–408. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2004.00089.x.
Cano, A., & O’Leary, K. D. (2000). Infidelity and separations precipitate major depressive episodes and symptoms of nonspecific depression and anxiety. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 68, 774–781. doi:10.1037/0022-006X.68.5.774.
Cano, A., & O’Leary, K. (1997). Romantic jealousy and affairs: Research and implications for couple therapy. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 23, 249–275. doi:10.1080/00926239708403931.
Cramer, R. E., Manning-Ryan, B., Johnson, L. M., & Abraham, W. T. (2000). Gender differences in subjective distress to emotional and sexual infidelity: Evolutionary or logical inference explanation? Current Psychology, 20, 327–336. doi:10.1007/s12144-001-1015-2.
Cravens, J. D., Leckie, K. R., & Whiting, J. B. (2013). Facebook infidelity: When poking becomes problematic. Contemporary Family Therapy, 35, 74–90. doi:10.1007/s10591-012-9231-5.
Cyranowski, J. M., & Andersen, B. L. (1998). Schemas, sexuality, and romantic attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1364–1379. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.74.5.1364.
Dalgleish, T. L., Johnson, S. M., Burgess Moser, M., Lafontaine, M. F., Wiebe, S. A., & Tasca, G. A. (2014). Predicting change in marital satisfaction throughout emotionally focused couple therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. doi:10.1111/jmft.12077.
Davies, P. T., Myers, R. L., & Cummings, E. M. (1996). Responses of children and adolescents to marital conflict scenarios as a function of the emotionality of conflict endings. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 42, 1–21. doi:10.1353/mpq.2005.0012.
Dean, C. J. (2011). Psychoeducation: A first step to understanding infidelity-related systemic trauma and grieving. The Family Journal, 19, 15–21. doi:10.1177/1066480710387487.
Doss, B. D., Simpson, L. E., & Christensen, A. (2004). Why do couples seek marital therapy? Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 15, 608–614. doi:10.1037/0735-7028.35.6.608.
Duncombe, J., & Marsden, D. (2004). Affairs and children. In J. Duncombe, K. Harrison, G. Allan, & D. Marsden (Eds.), The state of affairs: Explorations in infidelity and commitment (pp. 187–201). Mahway, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Inc.
Fife, S. T., Weeks, G. R., & Gambescia, N. (2007). The intersystem approach to treating infidelity. In P. Peluso (Ed.), Infidelity: A practitioner’s guide to working with couples in crisis (pp. 71–97). Philadelphia, PA: Routledge.
Fife, S. T., Weeks, G. R., & Gambeseia, N. (2008). Treating infidelity: An integrative approach. The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, 16, 316–323. doi:10.177/1066480708323205.
Fife, S. T., Weeks, G. R., & Sellberg-Filbert, J. (2013). Facilitating forgiveness in the treatment of infidelity: An interpersonal model. Journal of Family Therapy, 35, 343–367. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6427.2011.00561.x.
Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. (2010). Marriage in the new millennium: A decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72, 630–649. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00722.x.
Fincham, F. D., Grych, J. H., & Osborne, L. N. (1994). Does marital conflict cause child maladjustment? Directions and challenges for longitudinal research. Journal of Family Psychology, 8, 128–140. doi:10.1037//0893-3200.8.2.128.
Fish, J. N., Pavkov, T. W., Wetchler, J. L., & Bercik, J. (2012). Characteristics of those who participate in infidelity: The role of adult attachment and differentiation in extradyadic experiences. American Journal of Family Therapy, 40, 214–229. doi:10.1080/01926187.2011.601192.
Fosco, G. M., & Grych, J. H. (2010). Adolescent triangulation into parental conflicts: Longitudinal implications for appraisals and adolescent-parent relations. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72, 254–266. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00697.x.
Gil, E. (1994). Play in family therapy. New York: Guilford Press.
Gladding, S. T. (2002). Family therapy: History, theory, and practice. New Jersey: Pearson Education.
Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2005). Treating couples recovering from infidelity: An integrative approach. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 61, 1393–1405. doi:10.1002/jclp.20189.
Gottman, J. M. (2011). The science of trust: Emotional attunement for couples. New York: WW Norton & Company.
Grych, J. H., Raynor, S. R., & Fosco, G. M. (2004). Family processes that shape the impact of interparental conflict on adolescents. Development and Psychopathology, 16, 649–665. doi:10.1017/s0954579404004717.
Hall, J., & Fincham, F. D. (2005). Self-forgiveness: The stepchild of forgiveness research. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 24, 621–637. doi:10.1521/jscp.2005.24.5.621.
Harold, G. T., Shelton, K. H., Goeke-Morey, M. C., & Cummings, E. M. (2004). Marital conflict, child emotional security about family relationships and child adjustment. Social Development, 13, 350–376. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9507.2004.00272.x.
Hoffman, L. (1981). Foundations of family therapy: A conceptual framework for systems change. New York: Brunner/Mazel.
Jeanfreau, M. M., Jurich, A. P., & Mong, M. D. (2014). Risk factors associated with women’s marital infidelity. Contemporary Family Therapy, 36, 327–332. doi:10.1007/s10591-014-9309-3.
Kaplan, H. S. (1974). The new sex therapy: Active treatment of sexual dysfunctions. New York: Brunner/Mazel.
Kaplan, H. S. (1983). The evaluation of sexual disorders: Psychological and medical aspects. New York: Brunner/Mazel.
Leiblum, S. (2007). Principles and practices of sex therapy (4th ed.). New York: Guilford Press.
Levine, S. (2005). A clinical perspective on infidelity. Sexual & Relationship Therapy, 20, 143–153. doi:10.1080/14681990500113203.
Lusterman, D. (2005). Helping children and adults cope with parental infidelity. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 61, 1439–1451. doi:10.1002/jclp.20193.
Marin, R. A., Christensen, A., & Atkins, D. C. (2014). Infidelity and behavioral couple therapy: Relationship outcomes over five years following therapy. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 3, 1–12. doi:10.1037/cfp0000012.
Mark, K. P., Janssen, E., & Milhausen, R. R. (2011). Infidelity in heterosexual couples: Demographic, interpersonal, and personality-related predictors of extradyadic sex. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40, 971–982. doi:10.1007/s10508-011-9771-z.
Micucci, J. A. (2006). Helping families with defiant adolescents. Contemporary Family Therapy, 28, 459–474. doi:10.1007/s10591-006-9018-7.
Millner, V. S. (2008). Internet infidelity: A case of intimacy with detachment. The Family Journal, 16, 78–82. doi:10.1177/1066480707308918.
Minuchin, S. (1974). Families and family therapy. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Minuchin, S., & Fishman, H. C. (1981). Family therapy techniques. Boston, MA: Harvard University Press.
Moller, N. P., & Vossler, A. (2014). Defining infidelity in research and couple counseling: A qualitative study. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. doi:10.1080/0092623x.2014.931314.
Negash, S., Cui, M., Fincham, F. D., & Pasley, K. (2013). Extradydadic involvement and relationship dissolution in heterosexual women university students. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 43, 531–539. doi:10.1007/s10508-013-0213-y.
Nemeth, J. M., Bonomi, A. E., Lee, M. A., & Ludwin, J. M. (2012). Sexual infidelity as trigger for intimate partner violence. Journal of Women’s Health, 21, 942–949. doi:10.1089/jwh.2011.3328.
Nichols, M. P. (2008). Family therapy: Concepts and methods (8th ed.). Massachusetts: Pearson Education.
Nichols, M. P., & Schwartz, R. C. (2001). The essentials of family therapy. Boston: Allyn and Bacon.
Nogales, A. (2009). Parents who cheat. How children and adults are affected when their parents are unfaithful. Florida: Health Communication.
Olmstead, S. B., Blick, R. W., & Mills, L. I. (2009). Helping couples work toward the forgiveness of marital infidelity: Therapists’ perspectives. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 37, 48–66. doi:10.1080/01926180801960575.
Olson, M. M., Russell, C. S., Higgins-Kessler, M., & Miller, R. B. (2002). Emotional processes following disclosure of an extramarital affair. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 28, 423–434. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.2002.tb00367.x.
Parker, T. S., & Wampler, K. S. (2003). How bad is it? Perceptions of the relationship impact of different types of internet sexual activities. Contemporary Family Therapy, 25, 415–429. doi:10.1023/A:1027360703099.
Pearman, M. M. (2010). The effect of parental infidelity on an adult child’s sexual attitudes. (Unpublished thesis). Purdue University, Indiana.
Peluso, P. R. (2007). Infidelity: A practitioner’s guide to working with couples in crisis. New York: Routledge.
Peluso, P. R., & Spina, P. (2008). Understanding infidelity: pitfalls and lessons for couples and counselors. The Family Journal, 16, 324–327. doi:10.1177/1066480708323282.
Platt, R. L., Nalbone, D. P., Cassanova, G. M., & Wetchler, J. L. (2008). Parental conflict and infidelity as predictors of adult children’s attachment style and infidelity. American Journal of Family Therapy, 36, 149–161. doi:10.1080/01926180701236258.
Rasheed, J. M., Rasheed, M. N., & Marley, J. A. (2011). Family therapy models and techniques. Los Angeles: Sage.
Reibstein, J. (2013). Commentary: A different lens for working with affairs: using social constructionist and attachment theory. Journal of Family Therapy, 35, 368–380. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6427.2011.00562.x.
Schade, L. C., & Sandberg, J. G. (2012). Healing the attachment injury of marital infidelity using emotionally focused couples therapy: A case illustration. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 40, 434–444. doi:10.1080/01926187.2011.631374.
Scheinkman, M. (2005). Beyond the trauma of betrayal: Reconsidering affairs in couples therapy. Family Process, 44, 227–244. doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.2005.00056.x.
Schnarch, D. M. (1991). Constructing the sexual crucible: An integration of sexual and marital therapy. New York: WW Norton & Company.
Segrin, C., & Flora, J. (2005). Family communication. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Inc.
Snyder, D. K. (2005). Treatment of clients coping with infidelity: An introduction. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 61, 1367–1370. doi:10.1002/jclp.20186.
Sori, C. F. (2007). An affair to remember: Infidelity and its impact on children. In P. R. Peluso (Ed.), Infidelity: A practitioner’s guide to working with couples in crisis (pp. 247–276). New York, NY: Taylor & Francis Group.
Spence, A. M. (2012). Adult children’s accounts of parental infidelity and divorce: Associations with own infidelity, risky behaviors, and attachment. (Unpublished doctoral dissertation, University of Colorado).
Thorson, A. R. (2009). Adult children’s experiences with their parent’s infidelity: Communicative protection and access rules in the absence of divorce. Communication Studies, 60, 32–48. doi:10.1080/10510970802623591.
Wallerstein, S., & Kelly, J. B. (1980). Effects of divorce on the visiting father–child relationship. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 137, 1534–1539. doi:10.1176/ajp.137.12.1534.
Wardle, L. D. (2002). Parental infidelity and the ‘no-harm’ rule in custody litigation. Catholic University Law Review, 52, 81–132. http://ssrn.com/abstract=397660
Weeks, G. R., Gambescia, N., & Jenkins, R. E. (2003). Treating infidelity: Therapeutic dilemmas and effective strategies. New York: WW Norton & Company. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6427.2006.00340_2.x.
Weigel, D. J., Bennett, K. K., & Ballard-Reisch, D. S. (2003). Family influences on commitment: Examining the family of origin correlates of relationship commitment attitudes. Personal Relationships, 10, 453–474. doi:10.1046/j.1475-6811.2003.00060.x.
Westfall, A. (1989). Extramarital sex: The treatment of the couple. In G. R. Weeks (Ed.), Treating couples: The intersystem model of the Marriage Council of Philadelphia (pp. 163–190). New York: Brunner/Mazel.
Whisman, M. A., Gordon, K. C., & Chatav, Y. (2007). Predicting sexual infidelity in a population-based sample of married individuals. Journal of Family Psychology, 21, 320–324. doi:10.1037/8093-3200.21.2.320.
Whisman, M. A., & Snyder, D. K. (2007). Sexual infidelity in a national survey of American women: Differences in prevalence and correlates as a function of method of assessment. Journal of Family Psychology, 21, 147. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.21.2.147.
Winek, J. L. (2010). Systemic family therapy from theory to practice. Los Angeles: Sage.
Young, T. L., Negash, S. M., & Long, R. M. (2009). Enhancing sexual desire and intimacy via the metaphor of a problem child: Utilizing structural-strategic family therapy. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 35, 402–417. doi:10.1080/00926230903065971.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Rights and permissions
About this article
Cite this article
Negash, S., Morgan, M.L. A Family Affair: Examining the Impact of Parental Infidelity on Children Using a Structural Family Therapy Framework. Contemp Fam Ther 38, 198–209 (2016). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10591-015-9364-4
Published:
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10591-015-9364-4