Skip to main content
SpringerLink
Log in

“Broken Together”: Spirituality and Religion as Coping Strategies for Couples Dealing with the Death of a Child: A Literature Review with Clinical Implications

  • Original Paper
  • Published:
Contemporary Family Therapy Aims and scope Submit manuscript

Abstract

The death of a child is an event that can fall into the category of uncontrollable life events, testing the limits of the ability to control of bereaved parents. The literature reviewed showed that religious/spiritual coping is a unique way of coping and may be particularly important for couples who have lost a child. When assessing the couples’ coping strategies, marital therapists would be wise to look for religious/spiritual mechanisms that can be employed in the therapeutic process. Furthermore, the reviewers propose Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (Johnson, 2004, The practice of emotionally focused couple therapy: Creating connection, Routledge, New York) as well suited for helping couples grieving the death of their child.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this article

Log in via an institution

Price excludes VAT (USA)
Tax calculation will be finalised during checkout.

Instant access to the full article PDF.

Institutional subscriptions

Similar content being viewed by others

References

  • Abbott, D., Berry, M., & Meredith, M. H. (1990). Religious beliefs and practices: A potential asset in helping families. Family Relations, 39, 443–448.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Anderson, D. A., & Worthen, D. (1997). Exploring a fourth dimension: Spirituality as a resource for the couple therapist. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 23, 3–12.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Anthony, M. J. (1993). The relationship between marital satisfaction and religious maturity. Religious Education, 88, 97–108.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bailey, E. C. (2002). The effect of spiritual beliefs and practices on family functioning. Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 13, 127–144.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Barrera, M., D’Agostino, N. M., Scheiderman, G., Tallet, S., Spencer, L., & Jovcevska, V. (2007). Patterns of parental bereavement following the death of a child and related factors. Omega, 55, 145–167.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Becvar, D. S. (1997). Soul healing: A spiritual orientation in counseling and therapy. New York, NY: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Belavich, T. G., & Pargament, K. I. (2002). The role of attachment in predicting spiritual coping with a loved one in surgery. Journal of Adult Development, 9, 13–29.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bohannon, J. (1990–1991). Grief responses of spouses following the death of a child: A longitudinal study. Omega, 22, 109–121.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bohannon, J. (1991). Religiosity related to grief levels of bereaved mothers and fathers. Omega, 23, 153–159.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and loss (Vol. III). New York: Basic Books, Inc.

    Google Scholar 

  • Brotherson, S. E., & Soderquist, J. (2002). Coping with a child’s death: Spiritual issues and therapeutic implications. Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 13, 53–86.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Butler, M. H., & Harper, J. M. (1994). The divine triangle: Deity in the marital system of religious couples. Family Process, 33, 277–286.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Butler, M. H., Stout, J. A., & Gardner, B. C. (2002). Prayer as a conflict resolution ritual: Clinical implications of religious couples’ report of relationship softening, healing perspective, and change responsibility. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 30, 19–37.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Coan, J. A., Schaefer, H. S., & Davidson, R. J. (2006). Lending a hand: Social regulation of the neural response to threat. Psychological Science, 17(12), 1032–1037.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Coffey, A. D. (2002). Spirituality: Lives and relationships in family therapy—Concepts and practices. Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 13, 29–52.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • De Frain, J. (1991). Learning about grief from normal families: SIDS, stillbirth, and miscarriage. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 17, 215–223.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Dudley, M. G., & Kosinski, F. A., Jr. (1990). Religiosity and marital satisfaction: A research note. Review of Religion Research, 32, 78–86.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Dyregrov, A., & Dyregrov, K. (1999). Long-term impact of sudden infant death: A 12- to 15-year follow-up. Death studies, 23, 635–661.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Eliade, M. (1957). The sacred and the profane: The nature of religion. New York: Harvest Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Feeley, N., & Gottlieb, L. N. (1988–1989). Parents, coping and communication following their infant’s death. Omega, 19 , 51–67.

    Google Scholar 

  • Freud, S. (1928/1961). The future of an illusion. New York: Norton.

  • Gallup Inc. (2009). Religion. Retrieved Nov 28, 2009 from www.gallup.com/poll/117409.

  • Gilbert, K. R. (1989). Interactive grief and coping in the marital dyad. Death Studies, 13, 625–646.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, K. R. (1992). Religion as a resource for bereaved parents. Journal of Religion and Health, 31, 19–30.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, K. R. (1997). Couple coping with the death of a child. In C. R. Figley (Ed.), Death and trauma: The traumatology of grieving (pp. 101–121). New York: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Goldbeck, L. (2001). Parental coping with the diagnosis of childhood cancer: Gender effects, dissimilarity within couples and quality of life. Psycho-Oncology, 10, 325–335.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Grossman, P., Niemann, L., Schmidt, S., & Walach, H. (2004). Mindfulness-based stress reduction and health benefits: A meta-analysis. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 57, 35–43.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Hagemeister, A. K., & Rosenblat, P. C. (1997). Grief and the sexual relationship of couples who have experienced a child’s death. Death Studies, 21, 231–252.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Heathon, T. B., & Pratt, E. L. (1990). The effects of religious homogamy on marital satisfaction and stability. Journal of Family Issues, 11, 191–207.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Helmeke, K. B., & Bischoff, G. H. (2007). Couple therapy and spirituality and religion: State of the art. Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, 6, 167–179.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Helmeke, K. B., & Sori, C. F. (2006). The therapist’s notebook for integrating spirituality in counseling: Homework, handouts, and activities for use in psychotherapy. New York: Haworth Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hertz, F. (1980). The impact of death and serious illness on the family life cycle. In E. Carter & M. McGoldrick (Eds.), The family life cycle (pp. 375–420). New York: Gardner.

    Google Scholar 

  • Higgins, M. P. (2002). Parental bereavement and religious factors. Omega, 45, 187–207.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hunler, O. S., & Gencoz, T. (2005). The effect of religiousness on marital satisfaction: Testing the mediator role of marital problem solving between religiousness and marital satisfaction relationship. Contemporary Family Therapy, 27, 123–136.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Jenkins, R. A., & Pargament, K. I. (1995). Religion and spirituality as resources for coping with cancer. Journal of Psychosocial Oncology, 13, 51–74.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Johnson, S. (1984). Sexual intimacy and replacement children after the death of a child. Omega, 15, 109–118.

    Google Scholar 

  • Johnson, S. M. (2002). Emotionally focused couple therapy with trauma survivors: Strengthening attachment bonds. New York: The Guilford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Johnson, S. M. (2004). The practice of emotionally focused couple therapy: Creating connection. New York: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Johnson, S. M., Hunsley, J., Greenberg, L., & Schindler, D. (1999). Emotionally focused couples therapy: Status and challenges. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 6(1), 67–79.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Johnson, S. M., Makinen, J., & Milikin, J. (2001). Attachment injuries in couple relationships: A new perspective on impasses in couples therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 27, 145–146.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Johnson, S. M., & Whiffen, V. E. (2003). Attachment processes in couple and family therapy. New York: The Guilford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Kirkpatrick, L. A. (1992). An attachment-theory approach to the psychology of religion. The International Journal for the Psychology of Religion, 2, 3–28.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Kirkpatrick, L. A., & Shaver, P. (1992). An attachment-theoretical approach to romantic love and religious belief. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18, 266–275.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Koening, H. G., McCullough, M. E., & Larson, D. W. (Eds.). (2001). Handbook of religion and health. New York: Oxford University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lambert, N. M., & Dollahite, D. C. (2006). How religiosity helps couples prevent, resolve, and overcome marital conflict. Family Relations, 55, 439–449.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lang, A., & Gottlieb, L. (1991). Marital intimacy in bereaved and non-bereaved couples: A comparative study. In D. Papadatou & C. Papadatou (Eds.), Children and death (pp. 267–275). New York: Hemisphere.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lang, A., & Gottlieb, L. (1993). Parental grief reactions and marital intimacy following infant death. Death Studies, 20, 33–57.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lang, A., Gottlieb, L., & Amsel, R. (1996). Predictors of husbands’ and wives’ grief reactions: The role of marital intimacy. Death Studies, 20, 33–57.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Lohan, J. A., & Murphy, S. A. (2005–2006). Mental distress and family functioning among married parents bereaved by a child sudden death. Omega, 52 , 295–305.

    Google Scholar 

  • Mahoney, A., Pargament, K. I., Jewell, T., Swank, A. B., Scott, E., Emerin, E., et al. (1999). Marriage and the spiritual realm: The role of proximal and distal religious constructs in marital functioning. Journal of Family Psychology, 13(3), 321–338.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Matthews, L. T., & Marwit, S. J. (2006). Meaning reconstruction in the context of religious coping: Rebuilding the shattered assumptive world. Omega, 53, 87–104.

    Google Scholar 

  • McIntosh, D. N., Cohen Silver, R., & Wortman, C. B. (1993). Religion’s role in adjustment to a negative life event: Coping with the loss of a child. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 65, 812–821.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Meyerstein, I. (2006). Spiritual steps for couples recovering from fetal loss. In K. B. Helmeke & C. F. Sori (Eds.), The therapist’s notebook for integrating spirituality in counseling II: Homework, handouts and activities for use in psychotherapy (pp. 223–229). New York: Haworth Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Mikulincer, M., & Florian, V. (1998). The relationship between attachment styles and emotional and cognitive reactions to stressful events. In J. A. Simpson & W. S. Rholes (Eds.), Attachment theory and close relationships (pp. 143–165). New York: Guilford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Najman, J., Vance, J., Boyle, F., Embleton, G., Foster, B., & Thearle, J. (1993). The impact of a child death on marital adjustment. Social Science and Medicine, 37, 1005–1010.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Oliver, L. E. (1999). Effects of a child’s death on marital relationship: A review. Omega, 39, 197–227.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pargament, K. I. (1997). The psychology of religion and coping. New York: The Guilford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pargament, K. I. (1999). The psychology of religion and spirituality? Yes and no. International Journal for the Psychology of Religion, 9, 3–16.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pargament, K. I., Ano, G. G., & Wacholtz, A. B. (2005a). The religious dimension of coping: Advances in theory, research, and practice. In R. F. Paloutzian & C. L. Park (Eds.), Handbook of the psychology of religion and spirituality (pp. 479–495). The Guilford Press: New York.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pargament, K. I., Cole, B., Vandecreek, L., Belavich, T., Brant, C., & Perez, L. (1999). The vigil: Religion and the search for control in the hospital waiting room. Journal of Health Psychology, 4, 327–341.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pargament, K. I., Koenig, H. G., & Perez, L. (2000). The many methods of religious coping: Development and initial validation of RCOPE. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 56, 519–543.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Pargament, K. I., Magyar-Russell, G. H., & Murray-Swank, N. A. (2005b). The sacred and the search for significance: Religion as a unique process. Journal of Social Issues, 61, 665–687.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pargament, K. I., Smith, B. W., Koenig, H. G., & Perez, L. (1998). Patterns of positive and negative religious coping with major life stressors. Journal of the Scientific Study of Religion, 37, 710–724.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Prest, L. A., & Keller, J. F. (1993). Spirituality and family therapy: Spiritual beliefs, myths, and metaphors. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 19, 137–148.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Rando, T. A. (1983). An investigation of grief and adaptation in parents whose children have died from cancer. Journal of Pediatric Psychology, 8, 3–20.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Rando, T. (1986). Parental loss of a child. Champaign, IL: Research Press Company.

    Google Scholar 

  • Reilly-Smoravsky, B., Armstrong, A. V., & Catlin, E. A. (2002). Bereavement support for couples following the death of a baby: Program development and 14-year exit analysis. Death Studies, 26, 21–37.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Rivett, M., & Street, E. (2001). Connections and themes of spirituality in family therapy. Family Process, 40, 459–467.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Robinson, L. C. (1994). Religion orientation in enduring marriage: An exploratory study. Review of Religious Research, 35, 207–218.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Roth, P. D. (1988). Spiritual well-being and marital adjustment. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 16, 153–158.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sandberg, J. G., Miller, R. B., Harper, J. M., Davey, A., & Robila, M. (2009). The impact of marital conflict on health and health care utilization in older couples. Journal of Health Psychology, 14(1), 9–17.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Sanders, C. (1989). Grief: The mourning after. New York: John Wiley & Sons.

    Google Scholar 

  • Schaefer, M. T., & Olson, D. H. (1981). Assessing intimacy: The PAIR inventory. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 7, 47–60.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Schwab, R. (1990). Paternal and maternal coping with death of a child. Death Studies, 14, 407–422.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Schwab, R. (1992). Effects of a child’s death on the marital relationship: A preliminary study. Death Studies, 16, 141–157.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Sebold, A. (2002). The lovely bones. New York: Back Bay Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Simpson, M. (1979). The facts of death. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice Hall.

    Google Scholar 

  • Stander, V., Piercy, F. P., Mackinnon, D., & Helmeke, K. (1994). Spirituality, religion, and family therapy: Competing or complementary worlds? American Journal of Family Therapy, 22, 27–41.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Tix, A. P., & Frazier, P. A. (1998). The use of religious coping during stressful life events: Main effects, moderation, and mediation. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 66, 411–422.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Walsh, F. (2006). Strengthening family resilience. New York: The Guilford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Walsh, F. (2008). Spiritual resources in family therapy (Second edition ed.). New York: The Guilford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Wilson, M. R., & Filsinger, E. E. (1986). Religiosity and marital adjustment: Multidimensional relationship. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 48, 147–151.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Wing, D. G., Burge-Calloway, K., Clance, P. R., & Armistead, L. (2001). Understanding gender differences in bereavement following the death of a child: Implications for treatment. Psychotherapy, 38, 60–72.

    Google Scholar 

  • Wood, N. D., Crane, D. R., Schaalje, G. B., & Law, D. D. (2005). What works for whom: A meta-analytic review of marital and couples therapy in reference to marital distress. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 33, 273–287.

    Article  Google Scholar 

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

  1. College of Human Ecology, Department of Marriage and Family Therapy, Syracuse University, Syracuse, NY, 13244, USA

    Ileana Ungureanu

  2. Chicago Center for Family Health, 20 N Wacker Dr, suite 1442, Chicago, IL, 60606, USA

    Ileana Ungureanu

  3. School of Family Life, Department of Marriage and Family Therapy, Brigham Young University, Provo, UT, 84602, USA

    Jonathan G. Sandberg

Authors
  1. Ileana Ungureanu
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  2. Jonathan G. Sandberg
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Ileana Ungureanu.

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

About this article

Cite this article

Ungureanu, I., Sandberg, J.G. “Broken Together”: Spirituality and Religion as Coping Strategies for Couples Dealing with the Death of a Child: A Literature Review with Clinical Implications. Contemp Fam Ther 32, 302–319 (2010). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10591-010-9120-8

Download citation

  • Published:

  • Issue Date:

  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10591-010-9120-8

Keywords

Search

Navigation