Skip to main content

Friendships: The Power of Positive Alliance

  • Chapter
  • First Online:

Abstract

Being accepted and having friends is essential to our mental health and well-being and amongst the most significant factors for life quality and enjoyment. From a young age, children need to learn the complex social skills and management of emotions that enable them to gain acceptance from peers and sustain mutually satisfying interactions leading to, in some cases, life-long friendships. The rewards of friendship are immense, but the consequences of not being accepted by peers and failing to develop friendships are also significant in terms of long-term mental health and well-being in later life. This chapter addresses why friendships throughout the life cycle are important and identifies the purposes served by such relationships. Features of friendships in childhood and adolescence are defined along with strategies for establishing and maintaining friendships and providing a context that promotes opportunities for friendships and enables them to flourish.

Karen Majors is a tutor on the educational psychology training course at the Institute of Education, London University. She has written on friendship in the school context and completed her doctorate on Imaginary Friendships in children.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution.

Buying options

Chapter
USD   29.95
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
eBook
USD   149.00
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as EPUB and PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
Softcover Book
USD   199.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Compact, lightweight edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info
Hardcover Book
USD   199.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Durable hardcover edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info

Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout

Purchases are for personal use only

Learn about institutional subscriptions

References

  • Bagwell, C., Newcomb, A., & Bukowski, W. (1998). Preadolescent friendship and peer rejection as predictors of adult adjustment. Child Development, 69(1), 140–153.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Baines, E., & Blatchford, P. (2009). Sex differences in the structure and stability of children’s playground social networks and their overlap with friendship relations. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 27, 743–760.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Baines, E., & Blatchford, P. (2011). Playground games and activities in school and their role in development. In A. Pellegrini (Ed.), Oxford handbook of the development of play. New York: Oxford University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Berndt, T., & Keefe, K. (1992). Friends’ influence on adolescent’s perceptions of themselves in school. In D. H. Schunk & J. L. Meece (Eds.), Students’ perceptions in the classroom (pp. 51–73). New York: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

    Google Scholar 

  • Besag, V. (2007). Understanding girls’ friendships, fights and feuds. Berkshire: London University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Blatchford, P. (1998). Social life in school: Pupils’ experience of break time and recess from 7 to 16 years. London: Falmer Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Broadhead, P. (2004). Early years play and learning. London: RoutledgeFalmer.

    Book  Google Scholar 

  • Buhrmester, D. (1990). Intimacy of friendship, interpersonal competence, and adjustment during preadolescence and adolescence. Child Development, 61, 1101–1111.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Buhrmester, D. (1996). Need fulfilment, interpersonal competence, and the developmental contexts of early adolescent friendship. In W. Bukowski, A. Newcomb, & W. Hartup (Eds.), The company they keep: Friendship in childhood and adolescence (pp. 158–185). New York: Cambridge University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Cartwright, C. (2007). Peer support works: A step by step guide to long term success. London: Network Continuum Education.

    Google Scholar 

  • Chu, J. (2005). Adolescent boys’ friendships and peer group culture. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 107, 11–20.

    Google Scholar 

  • Costi, M. (2009). Developing children’s social, emotional and behavioural skills. London: Continuum.

    Google Scholar 

  • Cotterell, J. (2007). Social networks in youth and adolescence. London: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Cowen, E., Pederson, A., Babgian, H., Izzo, L., & Trost, M. A. (1973). Long-term follow up of early detected vulnerable children. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 41, 438–446.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Diener, E., & Diener, C. (2009). Foreword. In R. Gilman, E. S. Huebner, & M. Furlong (Eds.), Handbook of positive psychology in schools (p. xi). New York: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Doll, B. (2010). Resilient playgrounds. London: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Dowling, M. (2010). Young children’s personal, social and emotional development. London: Sage.

    Google Scholar 

  • Dunn, J. (2004). Children’s friendships. The beginnings of intimacy. Oxford: Blackwell Publishing.

    Google Scholar 

  • Frean, A. (2003). Friends like these: The relationships that shape our lives. The Edge, Economic and Social Research Council, 13, 8–10.

    Google Scholar 

  • Frederickson, N. (1991). Children can be so cruel: Helping the rejected child. In G. Lindsay & A. Miller (Eds.), Psychological services for primary schools. Harlow: Longman.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hallinan, M., & Williams, R. (1989). Interracial friendship choices in secondary schools. American Sociological Review, 54(1), 67–78.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Hamm, J., & Faircloth, B. (2005). The role of friendship in adolescents’ sense of school belonging. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 107, 61–78.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Harris, P. (2000). The work of the imagination. Oxford: Blackwell.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hartup, W., & Stevens, N. (1999). Friendships and adaptation across the life span. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 8, 76–79.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Howe, C. (2010). Peer groups and children’s development. Chichester: Wiley-Blackwell.

    Google Scholar 

  • Howes, C. (1996). The earliest friendships. In W. Bukowski, A. Newcomb, & W. Hartup (Eds.), The company they keep: Friendship in childhood and adolescence (pp. 66–86). New York: Cambridge University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Ladd, G. (1990). Having friends, keeping friends, making friends, and being liked by peers in the classroom: Predictors of children’s early school adjustment? Child Development, 61, 1081–1100.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Ladd, G. (2005). Children’s peer relations and social competence: A century of progress. London: Yale University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Ladd, G., & Kochenderfer, B. (1996). Linkages between friendship and adjustment during early school transitions. In W. Bukowski, A. Newcomb, & W. Hartup (Eds.), The company they keep: Friendship in childhood and adolescence (p. 324). New York: Cambridge University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Layard, R., & Dunn, J. (2009). A good childhood: Searching for values in a competitive age. London: Penguin.

    Google Scholar 

  • Leather, N. (2009). Risk-taking in adolescence: A literature review. Journal of Child Health Care, 13, 295–304.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Maccoby, E. (1998). The two sexes: Growing up apart, coming together. Cambridge: Harvard University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Mendelson, M., & Aboud, F. (1999). Measuring friendship quality in late adolescents and young adults: McGill friendship questionnaires. Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science, 31, 130–132.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Meyer, J. (2003). Kids talking: Learning relationships and culture with children. Oxford: Rowman and Littlefield Publishers.

    Google Scholar 

  • Meyer, J., & Driscoll, G. (1997). Children and relationship development: Communication strategies in a day care centre. Communication Reports, 10, 75–85.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Newcomb, A., & Bagwell, C. (1996). The developmental significance of children’s friendship relations. In W. Bukowski, A. Newcomb, & W. Hartup (Eds.), The company they keep. Friendship in childhood and adolescence (pp. 289–321). New York: Cambridge University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pahl, R., & Spence, L. (2003-4). Personal communities: Not simply families or ‘fate’ or ‘choice’ (Working paper, ISER paper 2003-4). Colchester: University of Essex.

    Google Scholar 

  • Rizzo, T. A. (1989). Friendship development among children in school. Norwood: Ablex Publishing Corporation.

    Google Scholar 

  • Robinson, G., & Maines, B. (2004). Circle time resources. Bristol: Lucky Duck Publishing.

    Google Scholar 

  • Roffey, S. (2011). Enhancing connectedness in Australian children and young people. Asian Journal of Counselling, 18(1), 1–25.

    Google Scholar 

  • Rubin, Z. (1980). Children’s friendships. Glasgow: Fontana.

    Google Scholar 

  • Scholte, R., & Van Aken, M. (2008). Peer relations in adolescence. In S. Jackson & L. Goossens (Eds.), Handbook of adolescent development (pp. 175–199). Hove: Psychology Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Schroeder, A. (2008). The friendship formula: A social skills programme to develop an awareness of self and others. Cambridge: LDA.

    Google Scholar 

  • Smith, C. (2003). B.E.S.T Buddies Bettering Everyone’s Secondary Transition: A comprehensive training programme introducing a peer buddy system to support students starting secondary school. Bristol: Lucky Duck Publishing.

    Google Scholar 

  • Smith, P. (2010). Children and play. Chichester: Wiley-Blackwell.

    Google Scholar 

  • Smith, P., & Connolly, K. (1980). The ecology of preschool behaviour. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sullivan, H. (1953). The interpersonal theory of psychiatry. New York: Norton.

    Google Scholar 

  • Thwaites, J. (2008). 100 ideas for teaching personal, social and emotional development. London: Continuum.

    Google Scholar 

  • UNICEF. (2007). Child poverty in perspective: An overview of child well-being in rich countries: A comprehensive assessment of the lives and well-being of children and adolescents in the economically advanced nations. Geneva: UNICEF Innocenti Research Centre Report Card 7.

    Google Scholar 

  • Way, N., Gingold, R., Rotenberg, M., & Kuriakose, G. (2005). Close friendships among urban, ethnic-minority adolescents. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 107, 11–20.

    Google Scholar 

  • Webster-Stratton, C. (2009). How to promote children’s social and emotional competence. London: Sage.

    Google Scholar 

  • Wentzel, K., Barry, C., & Caldwell, K. (2004). Friendships in middle school: Influences on motivation and school adjustment. Journal of Educational Psychology, 96, 195–203.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Wentzel, K., Baker, S., & Russell, S. (2009). Peer relationships and positive adjustment at school. In R. Gilman, E. Scott Huebner, & M. J. Furlong (Eds.), Handbook of positive psychology in schools. New York: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Wordley, C. (2010). Friendship and learning: A study of Year Four’s perceptions of friendship and whether their friends help them to learn. Unpublished PGCE assignment, Faculty of Education, University of Cambridge.

    Google Scholar 

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

Authors

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Karen Majors .

Editor information

Editors and Affiliations

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

Copyright information

© 2012 Springer Netherlands

About this chapter

Cite this chapter

Majors, K. (2012). Friendships: The Power of Positive Alliance. In: Roffey, S. (eds) Positive Relationships. Springer, Dordrecht. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-007-2147-0_8

Download citation

Publish with us

Policies and ethics