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14-05-2021

Het helen van intergenerationele emotionele wonden: een integratieve relationele neurobiologische benadering

Auteur: Mona DeKoven Fishbane

Gepubliceerd in: Gezinstherapie Wereldwijd | Uitgave 2/2021

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Samenvatting

Oude wrok en onverwerkte problemen uit het gezin van herkomst kunnen volwassenen belemmeren in hun huidige relatie met ouders, broers en zussen. En dergelijke problemen kunnen ook weer de relatie met de eigen partner of kinderen negatief beïnvloeden. In dit artikel kijken we naar hoe oude emotionele wonden worden gereactiveerd in huidige relaties en naar hoe dit bijdraagt aan de intergenerationele overdracht van pijnlijke ervaringen en trauma’s. Voortbouwend op de intergenerationele gezinstheorie en interpersoonlijke neurobiologie hebben we daarvoor de dynamiek van de reactiviteit en persoonlijke groei verkend. Het menselijke brein functioneert meestal op de automatische piloot, aangestuurd door gewoontes en emotionele reactiviteit. Toch zijn mensen ook in staat tot prefrontale bedachtzaamheid; en tot het maken van bewuste keuzes in hechte relaties. In plaats van hierin het slachtoffer te zijn van onze ouders, ons gezinsverleden, kunnen we ook de regie nemen over ons huidige relationele leven. Sommige interventies kunnen volwassenen helpen om ‘zich van het juk van hun jeugd te ontdoen’; namelijk door emotionele wonden te helen en door vroegere gezinsrelaties “volwassen te laten worden”. We belichten in dit artikel ook de schade die kan ontstaan als de schuld voor die oude emotionele wonden bij de ouders wordt gelegd en houden dit tegen het licht van de ‘rejunctieve actie’ en het ‘cultiveren van betrouwbaarheidsbronnen in intergenerationele relaties’, zoals beschreven door Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy. We kunnen het gezin daarbij zowel bezien in de culturele context, als binnen de levenscyclus, inclusief de mogelijke bronnen van stress en veerkracht. Ook behandelen we het thema ‘ouder worden binnen een intergenerationeel gezin’, waarbij we ingaan op hoe volwassen kinderen en hun ouders een persoonlijke groei kunnen doormaken door het aangaan van de uitdagingen in een bepaalde levensfase. De relationele ethiek staat daarbij telkens centraal: hoe kunnen we leven volgens onze waarden, en hoe kunnen we binnen intergenerationele relaties ‘het beste uit onszelf halen?’
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Metagegevens
Titel
Het helen van intergenerationele emotionele wonden: een integratieve relationele neurobiologische benadering
Auteur
Mona DeKoven Fishbane
Publicatiedatum
14-05-2021
Uitgeverij
Bohn Stafleu van Loghum
Gepubliceerd in
Gezinstherapie Wereldwijd / Uitgave 2/2021
Print ISSN: 1566-0206
Elektronisch ISSN: 1876-5874
DOI
https://doi.org/10.1007/s12440-021-00149-7

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