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Parenting in Pakistan: An Overview

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Parenting Across Cultures

Part of the book series: Science Across Cultures: The History of Non-Western Science ((SACH,volume 7))

Abstract

Considerable cross-cultural research has been conducted on Western or individualistic cultures and Asian or collectivistic cultures. In the latter case, mostly Chinese populations or Asian immigrants in the United States have been the subject of study. A great deal less is known about cultures from South Asia. The present chapter uses examples from my psychotherapy experience with Pakistanis to highlight common family norms and religious values that underlie childrearing practices. I will also provide a brief overview of research related to individualistic and collectivistic cultures and how these inform the self and its relationship. This chapter will also describe the few studies that have been conducted in this country. While my insights and experiences are by no means wholly representative of a country that includes several ethnic, linguistic, and cultural traditions, I will highlight some of the commonalities that are observable in Pakistani parenting styles.

Washington, DC, Summer 1982: In 1967, I arrived in Michigan from Pakistan to pursue a PhD in Clinical Psychology. It is 15 years later and I am a clinical psychologist in Washington, DC. My friends and I have arranged a play date for our children. We are four busy working professionals with 3-year-old daughters. My American friend Linda’s wailing daughter comes running inside to her mother. Through sobs she says that her friend has snatched away her toy and won’t give it back. Linda scoops up her daughter and explains, “You have to go back outside and explain to your friend nicely that the toy belongs to you, and that you want to play with it. Tell her that she should play with the toys her mom gave her, and you should play with the ones your mom gave you.” Her daughter scampers off. Next week, the situation repeats itself with my Iranian friend’s daughter, who comes crying to her about a child who has taken away her toy. I watch as Afsaneh bends down towards her daughter’s face and tells her gently, “You have to learn to share your toys with your friends. They will share with you, and you must share with them. Friends share.” I am amused by how these two instances of parenting present a window into the contrasting cultural realities of my two friends.

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Notes

  1. 1.

    In 1987, Baumrind while reporting on the development of adolescents in the US added “traditional parenting” to her earlier typology. She describes this category as one in which the values of previous generations are internalized by children who therefore tend to be more conventional, compliant, and religious. Nevertheless, this category does not address the criticism of her authoritarian and authoritative parenting by researchers working with Asian populations. See Baumrind (1987).

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Authors and Affiliations

  1. Department of Psychiatry, Aga Khan University, Karachi, Pakistan

    Riffat Moazam Zaman

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  1. Riffat Moazam Zaman
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Correspondence to Riffat Moazam Zaman .

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  1. Hampshire College, Amherst, Massachusetts, USA

    Helaine Selin

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Zaman, R.M. (2014). Parenting in Pakistan: An Overview. In: Selin, H. (eds) Parenting Across Cultures. Science Across Cultures: The History of Non-Western Science, vol 7. Springer, Dordrecht. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-007-7503-9_8

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  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-007-7503-9_8

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