Parenting in Hong Kong: Traditional Chinese Cultural Roots and Contemporary Phenomena

Abstract

In this chapter, traditional Hong Kong Chinese parenting characteristics are presented. These include focus on family harmony, well-defined parental and children roles, limited personal space for children, strict parental control, emphasis on continuity of family name, parental differences in socialization for boys and girls, and emphasis on filial piety. These attributes are revealed in traditional parenting literature such as family instruction books. With specific reference to contemporary parenting in Hong Kong, while traditional parenting characteristics persist (such as emphasis on academic excellence of children), there are gradual changes, such as the changing roles of fathers and mothers. There are parent-child discrepancies in perceived parenting attributes and parenting is less positive in vulnerable groups than in the non-vulnerable groups. There are also worrying trends in parenting and a severe lack of evidence-based parenting programs in Hong Kong.

Appendices

Appendices

Appendix 1: Examples of the 24 Piety Stories

No.	Title	Summary
1.	Filial Piety That Moved the Heaven	Although his father, step-mother and half brother attempted to kill him several times, Shun still loved them. His filial act moved the King of Heaven. He sent animals to assist his work
2.	Tasted the Medicine	The Queen-Mother had been sick for 3 years. Every medicine used by his mother was tasted by Emperor Wen beforehand
3.	He Sold Himself to Bury His Father	Dong Yong sold himself into slavery for money to bury his father
4.	He Fed His Parents Deer’s Milk	Tan’s old parents suffered from eye diseases and the deer milk was a medicine to their diseases. Thus, Tan attempted to get the milk by using a deer skin to pretend to be a fawn
5.	He Concealed Oranges to Present to His Mother	Yuan Shu treated two oranges to Lu Ji. Lu Ji remembered his mother was craving for oranges, so he concealed two oranges in his sleeves and wanted to present them to his mother
6.	He Let Mosquitoes Consume His Blood	When Wu Meng was 8 years old, his family was too poor to have a mosquito net. He naked himself to attract the mosquitoes to suck his blood instead of disturbing his parents
7.	He Lay on Ice in Search of Carp	Wang Xiang loosened his clothes and lay on the surface of a frozen river intended to melt the ice and catch the crap for serving his stepmother
8.	He Strangled a Tiger to Save His Father	Yang Xiang’s father was dragged away by a tiger. Although Xiang had no weapon at hand, he leapt forward and grabbed tightly at the tiger’s neck. The tiger then left
9.	He Amused His Parents With Play and Glad Clothes	Old Lai (over 70) always wore colorful clothes and played a toy drum to entertain his parents
10.	He Picked Mulberries to Serve His Mother	Shun gathered mulberries and sorted them into different containers. A group of robbers saw this and asked him about it. Shun said, “The ripe ones are for my mother. The unripe ones are for me”
11.	He fanned the Pillow and Warmed the Quilt	Huang Xiang loved and served his father filially. In the hot summer, he cooled his father’s pillow and mat with a fan. In the cold winter, he warmed his father’s quilt and bed with his body
12.	He washed his Mother’s Bedpan	Although Huang Tingjian was a government compiler with a prominent status, he washed his mother’s bedpan by himself

Appendix 2: English Translation of “At Home, Be Dutiful to My Parents” in Standards for Being a Good Student and Child (Di Zi Gui)

At Home, Be Dutiful to My Parents

When my parents call me, I will answer them right away. When they ask me to do something, I will do it quickly. When my parents instruct me, I will listen respectfully. When my parents reproach me, I will obey and accept their scolding. I will try hard to change and improve myself, to start anew.

In the winter, I will keep my parents warm; in the summer, I will keep my parents cool. I will always greet my parents in the morning to show them that I care. At night I will always make sure my parents rest well. Before going out, I must tell my parents where I am going, for parents are always concerned about their children. After returning home, I must go and see my parents to let them know I am back, so they do not worry about me. I will maintain a permanent place to stay and lead a routine life. I will persist in whatever I do and will not change my aspirations at will.

A matter might be trivial, but if it is wrong to do it or unfair to another person, I must not do it thinking it will bear little or no consequence. If I do, I am not being a dutiful child because my parents would not want to see me doing things that are irrational or illegal. Even though an object might be small, I will not keep it a secret from my parents. If I do, I will hurt my parents’ feelings.

If whatever pleases my parents is fair and reasonable, I will try my best to attain it for them. If something displeases my parents, if within reason I will cautiously keep it away from them. When my body is hurt, my parents will be worried. If my virtues are compromised, my parents will feel ashamed. When I have loving parents, it is not difficult to be dutiful to them. But if I can be dutiful to parents who hate me, only then will I meet the standards of the saints and sages for being a dutiful child.

When my parents do wrong, I will urge them to change. I will do it with a kind facial expression and a warm gentle voice. If they do not accept my advice, I will wait until they are in a happier mood before I attempt to dissuade them again, followed by crying, if necessary, to make them understand. If they end up whipping me I will not hold a grudge against them.

When my parents are ill, I will taste the medicine first before giving it to them. I will take care of them night and day and stay by their bedside. During the first 3 years of mourning after my parents have passed away, I will remember them with gratitude and feel sad often for not being able to repay them for their kindness in raising me. During this period I will arrange my home to reflect my grief and sorrow. I will also avoid festivities and indulgence in food and alcoholic drinks. I will observe proper etiquette in arranging my parents’ funerals. I will hold the memorial ceremony and commemorate my parents’ anniversaries with utmost sincerity. I will serve my departed parents as if they were still alive.

Pure Land Learning College Association. (2005). Di Zi Gui: Guide to a happy life. Toowoomba, Queensland: Australia.