Rationality in Coaching

Abstract

Over the past 50 years, a rational approach to modern-day living has had a positive influence on a variety of areas and forms of coaching (e.g., life, sport, couples, health, executive leadership). Its origins can be traced to the writings, public lectures and audio recordings of Albert Ellis (e.g., 1988, 1999; Ellis & Becker, 1982; Ellis & Harper, 1962) and many others (e.g., Bernard, 2011; Broder, 2006; Dryden & Gordon, 1990), who practice rational-emotive behaviour therapy (REBT) and rational-emotive, cognitive-behavior (RE-CB) coaching. This approach illuminates how the mental faculty of rationality as well as rational principles of living (originally, Ellis referred to as rational beliefs) can help people to not only be less unhappy when faced with adversities and unfortunate or frustrating events, but also can contribute to people living enjoyable, pleasurable, fulfilled and happy lives.

Appendix

Rationality and Happiness Survey

Hello. The following survey has been used by many people to help in their search for increased personal happiness. I hope you will find it of benefit.—Michael E. Bernard, Ph.D.

PART A. Reflect on the following three aspects of happiness. Which one(s) do you wish to experience more intensely or frequently?

• 1. Presence of Positive Emotions (short-term happiness):

  □ joy □ flow □ fun □ pleasure

• 2. Absence of Negative Emotions (short-term happiness):

  □ depression □ anxiety □ anger □ procrastination

• 3. Presence of General Life Satisfaction (long-term happiness):

  “How satisfied are you with your life”?

PART B. Consider the following list of “ rational principles of living .” Indicate how often you put the principle into practice.

	Seldom	Sometimes	Often
Rational Principle 1—Self Interest
Rather than spending all of my time in meeting the needs of others, I make a point of spending some of my time doing things I find interesting and enjoyable.	□	□	□
Rational Principle 2—Social Interest
In exploring my own interests, I make sure that my actions do not hurt others or interfere with their rights. I treat others with care and respect.	□	□	□
I become involved in helping other people.	□	□	□
Rational Principle 3—Self-Direction
I do not wait around for other people (family, work, government) to do things to make me happy. Rather, I actively plan for those experiences that I think will bring me pleasure and satisfaction. I also make decisions about those activities that bring me displeasure and see if they can be shared or minimized.	□	□	□
Rational Principle 4—Self-Acceptance
When I have not been successful in important tasks at work or have been criticized or rejected by someone whose opinion I value, I do not put myself down or take it personally. I accept myself as a fallible human being who sometimes makes mistakes or who possesses traits that may not always be appreciated by others.	□	□	□
Rational Principle 5—Tolerance of Others
When someone behaves unfairly or disrespectfully, I am able to keep separate the person’s negative behavior and actions from my overall judgment of their value or worth as a person.	□	□	□
Rational Principle 6—Short-Term and Long-Term Hedonism
While I enjoy immediate gratification (fun, joy, pleasure, excitement), I also have a clear focus on what I want to achieve in the long term in order to be satisfied with my work, health and family life. I balance time spent having fun with the hard work and sacrifice needed to achieve my longer-term goals.	□	□	□
Rational Principle 7—Commitment to Creative, Absorbing Activities and Pursuits
I make a real effort to discover activities that are fun and exciting and when practiced over an extended period result in fulfilment. When I discover what I am interested in, I commit time and energy to the activity.	□	□	□
Rational Principle 8—Risk Taking and Experimenting
In order to find experiences that bring me heightened or new enjoyments, I experiment with many tasks and projects to discover what I really want. I am prepared to step out of my comfort zone and I am willing to risk defeat or rejection.	□	□	□
Rational Principle 9—High Frustration Tolerance and Will Power
When I make a decision about something I want to do that can bring me success at work, enrich a relationship, or improve my health, I follow up with hard work and effort no matter the degree of frustration or discomfort.	□	□	□
Rational Principle 10—Problem Solving
When I am faced with a problem at work or home, I apply methods that help to solve the problem such as time management or conflict resolution (practical problem solving).	□	□	□
When I am faced with a problem, I apply methods that help me to stay calm. I take responsibility for my own feelings without blaming others. I base my thinking on the facts. I change my demands into preferences, I don’t blow the ‘badness’ of the event out of proportion, and I use positive, rational self-talk (emotional problem solving).	□	□	□
Rational Principle 11—Scientific Thinking and Flexibility
I do not solely rely on the opinion of others about the way I should do things. I am open-minded and evaluate the best ways to live my life based on my experiences and opportunities. When I am in a rut or things are not working out, I am flexible in changing the way I do things.	□	□	□

PART C. Consider the aspect(s) of happiness most important to you (Part A). Which of the 11 Rational Principles of Living can you put into practice more often? Be as specific as you can as to where, when, how, and with whom you will apply the principle(s) .

Action Plan for Personal Happiness

© 2017, Michael E. Bernard