Abstract
As Tomkins (1962) observed, the human adult, and especially the male of the species, rarely displays intense emotional feelings publicly. When we think about the intense volatility of young children’s feelings and displays and compare it with adult behavior we are naturally struck by the contrast. The motivations to control affective display are powerful and varied. In adults, Tomkins (1962) suggested, the facial display of affect is brought under strict social control in order to prevent affect contagion and escalation and in order to prohibit others from achieving control through knowledge of one’s otherwise private feelings. According to the work of Saarni (1979, 1981, 1982), the motivations of children are equally commanding and involve defense of self-esteem, avoidance of punishment and disapproval for revealing unregulated negative expressive behavior, concern over hurting other people’s feelings, and gaining advantage in interpersonal situations. Gradually, of course, chil-dren acquire the skills that are necessary for the regulation of emotion, and they adopt culturally specific conventions of expression. What is not so readily understood, however, is how children learn to regulate their expressive behavior and their underlying feelings. In this chapter, we take on the task of framing a working model of affect socialization in an attempt to answer this question. We start with certain premises about the nature of emotion as a motivational system and about the nature of emotional expression.
Very few adult males cry in public. Almost no adults have tantrums. Few adults publicly hang their head in shame. Only rarely do adults shout with joy in public. Very few publicly show intense excitment, sexual or otherwise. It is uncommon to express contempt by raising the upper lip and pulling the face back. Very few male adults publicly express extreme fear by a shriek. (Tomkins, 1962, p. 305)
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Malatesta, C.Z., Haviland, J.M. (1985). Signals, Symbols, and Socialization. In: Lewis, M., Saarni, C. (eds) The Socialization of Emotions. Genesis of Behavior, vol 5. Springer, Boston, MA. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4613-2421-8_5
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